Like Water for Chocolat

Advice: Get off the Bench!

2010-10-25T11:33:00.000-07:00

Ladies, ladies, ladies. All my single ladies out there. I pose this question: How do you get in the game, if you don't get off the bench? There are a lot of us whom are single, but the "available" light doesn't seem to be on. Single men should know that you are a single woman who is ready to mingle. This by no means suggests that we should throw ourselves at men (who is that going to help?), but do not be completely passive about it either. In recent weeks, I attended a singles happy hour mixer designed for single to meet and greet. As with a lot of these things, the male/female ratio began a bit uneven, favorably to the males. Then, I noticed that the ladies immediately took on this defeatist attitude about there being more women than men. Seriously, when is it not like that? Whatever social place you go, for men it's like fishing with dynamite. Even previously male-dominated zones such as gyms and sports bars have damn near been taken over by single women.

Here are some tips from one singleton to the next on getting the most out of singles mixers:

1.) Wear comfortable shoes. I don't know what it is about black women, but as soon as we go into a joint, the first thing we do is look for someplace to sit. Then we wait for guys to come over. And boy are we pissed when there is nowhere to sit! Except, it doesn't always work that way. If someone does come over and you've been parked in the same spot all night, this can limit the amount of contact from other guys. This is a mixer. You should be mixing. Motion creates emotion, so doing a simple, slow lap around the room, if only to review the merchandise, is great. You will find that a guy will stop you to talk.

2.) Stop eating. I know that after work mixers can be tricky because it has been several hours since lunch and you may be imbibing once you get there, so you would like some extra padding for your stomach lining. Fine. Just stop off for a quick smoothie or bite of something light before you go. Nothing says "do not disturb" more than having a plate full of chicken Alfredo with a side of fried calamari in front of you. No one wants to hold a conversation over someone's meal. And afterward you will be too full of carbs to even desire to move. Travel light. You cannot move around with a plate of food in your hand. A drink allows for better mobility.

3.) Lose the extra baggage. A lot of us fret when we are venturing out into the unknown to meet new people, so this is where we feel our sisterfriends come in handy as a safety net. Safety in numbers. What usually ends up happening is that you wind up glued to her side the entire evening so that you or she will have someone to converse with instead of meeting someone new. Also, men tend to go for those who stray from the pack. Try being a single man facing a whole herd of women when you can only talk to one at a time. Also, going it alone with do wonders for your confidence. This is the reason why I do not mind going out alone, because I always meet someone I can talk to. A male friend of mine once asked me why black women go singles spots or events and sit around talking to each other all night. "It's as if you guys don't want men to talk to you." he said.

I have decided to touch on these three, because at this one event, all three of these scenarios played out. These were sisters who were "on the bench" for no other reason than them benching themselves. Then getting together like a knitting circle and complaining about it.

Just a few tips from one singleton to another.

Morning Gripe Part Deux: End the "Dumbing Down" of Black Women

2010-09-21T08:49:00.000-07:00

This is something that I have discussed over the past several months with several sisterfriends and we all have the same concerns. I am positive that evil forces exist that promote the mental destruction or "dumbing down" of black women in the form of mainstream media and black male propaganda.

1. Stop spending yourself broke on a man to prove to him that you are independent and not a "gold digger". I know that there have been several songs on the radio and men ranting about women being i-n-d-e-p-e-d-e-n-t or having enough money to "loan" them, but we mustn't buy into a blatant black male agenda to get you to spend excessive amounts of money on them in order for them to be bothered or to go out with them while they feel that they do not have to pick up a single check. I actually have to fool my father with trickery to pay for anything for him when we are out and this is the man who raised me. His ability to provide for him is a like a badge of honor. Back in his day a woman picking up a check was emasculating. True independence involves taking care of yourself.

2. Stop entertaining men who are married or domestically coupled with someone. These men come in the forms of strangers or casual acquaintances/friends who may find themselves attracted to you (it usually starts with them being too complimentary about your looks, etc.). This seems to be a slippery slope for black women in particular. There are a lot of frequently used lines and I suppose the reason for this is because they work on a lot of women. Swagger does not trump character ladies.

For example:

Separated is not divorced. It never has been and it never will be. I know a guy who backtracked after being found out and state that his separation may not be residential but it was emotional in other words in his MIND he felt separated).

**If he is "married but not happy", that is none of YOUR concern and he should discuss this with his wife.

**If his wife does not "get" or understand him, he should probably see a professional or a pastor (you are not his shrink and if so, do not forget to send that invoice).

**He is a great guy who has all the "goods" whose wife just does not appreciate how good she has it. If he wants more loyalty and attention, suggest he get a dog.

Guys of this ilk will try to convince you pursuing a relationship will be totally worth it and that you have indeed found a diamond in the rough who is "different" from all the others. Instead have faith that a man of your very own will come your way and you will be happy with that.

3. Take control of the way that you are viewed as a beautiful and intelligent black woman and eschew damaging things/images that state otherwise. Some of these things come from outside of our community (mainstream magazines) and from within (can someone please tell Tyler Perry that black women are not all that tragic). Him being a black man who "made it" is not enough for me to support anything that he does anymore. I do not jump on anyone's bandwagon that does not defend what I am. There are so many other black actresses out there other than Halle and finally, Zoe that can be on magazine covers. Kerri Washington has been working in black and mainstream films for several years now and is still one of the most underrated actresses right now. I would like to see more of her. For those who believe that black films only work when it is a biopic or combined with the element of the comedic and most times downright ridiculous: Theodore Witcher (who wrote and directed Love Jones) should be making more films.

Morning Gripe...

2010-09-08T06:24:00.000-07:00

This has been an issue that I have been brooding over for a month or so now: The decline of the black woman.

I have to use a divide and conquer method to address these concerns due to time constraints, so here goes the first:

1) Appearance

When did we decide that it is okay to leave our house at 3 o'clock in the afternoon in pajamas? If I had a dollar for every time I saw a black woman walking down the street in shrunken Hello Kitty pajama bottoms and a tee shirt, I would be rich. When did we decide that this is okay. It's happening here in Atlanta and also in Florida (I had a girlfriend call me immediately when she spotted a young woman in the middle of the day parading around in this kind of getup). They are at the grocery store, at the park and I even saw a trio of them just strolling down a major (busy) street in Atlanta a week ago. And one of them actually had a plastic shower cap on her head! And no, she did not have a Jehri Curl. These are women no more than 25 years old and they are leaving the house at 5pm looking this way. Even if I am just making a quick trip to the Dollar tree, I am not leaving the house in pajamas. Put on sweats if you have to and if you cannot do something about your hair, put on a baseball cap (yes, even those aberrations with "bootylicious" crawled across the arse will do). I am not suggesting that we should all be pageant-ready wearing designer duds every time we leave the house and I understand each individual has their own opinion on what is fashionable and stylish. I am also not suggesting that one should not be an individual and stay true to personal style, but take some pride in their appearance and try to be decent. This too-cool-to-care attitude is not remotely attractive. Sadly, it is not just the younger generation who look to Nicki Minaj and Lil Mama for style inspiration who are among the afflicted. I see women who are clearly old enough to know better and are well into their 30's and 40's who also should take a more responsible approach to their appearance. I am someone who does their own pedicure every 2 weeks and I do my own facials weekly. I understand that we are living in economically strained times, so my pampering routine may not exist on an extravagant level, but it does exist and anyone can do it. If your feet are not decent, please wear closed in shoes until you can get yourself together. Life is particularly harsh on a black woman's feet and they need special attention.

The Stamp of Disapproval...

2010-08-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

Do not expect a stamp of approval from everyone in support of your life's choices and goals. This includes family. This includes people who are your friends. This does not mean that they do not consider themselves to be friends. It could simply be that they do not "get you" as a person or what you are about. And you should accept that maybe they never will. It can take a long time for some of us to realize exactly who we are in our moment of being. Even with our faults. Yes, there are some of us who believe that all is wrong with the world around us and that we do not need any form of self improvement. We are all works in progress. You have to decide that forward movement and growth will be a lifelong task. Anything that does not grow is dead. It is my opinion that this realization helps us to become the people that we want to be. If you cannot take self inventory and be honest with yourself, how can you expect others to be? Know exactly who you are and be true to that person. God will place the people in your life that will understand, support and embrace your life's goals. The people who "get you" will find you.

Meetup!

2010-08-09T12:58:00.000-07:00

I have been a member of this site since meeting a young woman at a wine tasting almost 3 years ago. For someone with an array of interests, this site is perfect. If you are interested in mingling with singles, knitting, dining, this site is perfect. there is no limit to the group that you can join. Chances are that you will find a group of people living in your city that shares a common interest with you and if not, there is always the option of starting your own group. I even found a group of people dedicated to the cuisine of the ethnic utopia that is Buford Hwy. I live in this area and love it. I had friends who wondered why I would want to live over here because there were so many Hispanics. I was moving from Florida, so this of course, did not concern me. Groceries are cheaper in this area as there is access to several farmer's markets. Also, Buford Hwy is several miles long and depending on which point you access, you run into several ethnicities. I have a restaurant for any type of cuisine I want no more than 10 minutes from my house. There are Mexican, Cuban, Korean, Hawaiian, Kosher, Vietnamese, Ethiopian, Indian, French, Colombian, Peruvian, Thai and Greek restaurants no more than a 7-mile radius of my home. And all of these ethnicities have communities in the area. Having long been a lover of culture and cuisine, this area is perfect for me and to share this interest with like-minded individuals is just a bonus.

For meetup groups near you, go to: www.meetup.com

I'm Back!

2010-07-28T06:53:00.000-07:00

I am back from my vacation. I took a well-deserved week and a half long vacation. I was able to catch up with some old friends in a city of my former dwelling. I haven't had a real vacation in years. It was great to connect with everyone. The cruise was great. We got a great deal on it, so I was kind of skeptical. It exceeded my expectations. We visited Mexico, Key West and the Bahamas. Overall, it was a great trip and the weather was more than cooperative as it is currently hurricane season. Sadly, it is now over and it is time to get back to business as usual. First things first, I need to get my laptop fixed. It went haywire on me just before I went on vacation, so I had to put it off until I got back. Fortunately, getting back to work has been relatively easy as we are in our slower business period. So, I chose the perfect time for a vacation. One of my favorite holidays, Atlanta Downtown Restaurant Week is currently underway. Okay, so it's not a holiday, but it should be! DARW features some of the best restaurants the city has to offer who have 3-course menus priced at $25 and $35 for two weeks out of the year. I have tasked myself with having a dinner party of sorts at one of the restaurants next weekend. I usually go to one of the restaurants with a friend and decided to do it a little different this year and invite several. Here in Atlanta, I have met several people who are lovers of fine dining and great food.

Ready for My Vacation...

2010-07-12T13:25:00.000-07:00

The time has come around for me to take a much-needed vacation. Other than the occasional 4-day weekend here and there, this will be my first in a couple of years. I am mentally and emotionally ready to go. I just need to get a couple more things up to speed. Although this is the vacation I need, it is not ultimately the one that I wanted to take. But I am making preparations for that. I will be stopping in Florida first to catch up with some friends and have a girls' night out dinner. I certainly look forward to that. I will be on a cruise abroad for this trip, but on my very next trip, I plan to fly abroad and see some really cool places. I still want to visit London, Paris, Spain & Italy. Another thing on my list to do: join a travel group. It can be too exhausting and time consuming planning a trip on one's own. I would rather just sign up for one of those all-inclusive pre-packaged deals. It lessens the stress of trying to accommodate yourself and others.

Thursday Morning Rant: Can Black Women Get A Break!?

2010-07-01T06:50:00.000-07:00

I know that a lot of us have read or at least heard about the latest effort to set black women back several decades. If you are a black woman who has been living in a cave for the past several decades, I actually caught wind of Slim Thug's recent Vibe interview via commentary by a blogger on www.thetroot.com. In his recent interview Slim Thug gives reasons why black women need to stand by their men more. He goes on to state that in no uncertain terms that black women are gold diggers and because we sleep with men, we should not expect them to buy everything for us. Apparently, our standards are too high. We need to start "bowing down" cooking and working hard for these men and understand that successful black men are almost extinct and that they are important. he states that we need to "hold our men down more." I have to admit that when I think of successful black men in entertainment Slim Thug does not automatically pop into my mind. But, I digress. He states that he has a homie who only dates white woman and he never has problems with them. He goes on to state that the woman that he is currently dating is bi-racial and goes to a good college. He notes that she cooks, and does what he says and attributes this to her "white" nature. As an educated, gainfully employed woman who cooks, cleans (hell, I can even sew), I find his article very disturbing, because men (regardless of race) will read this and believe everything negative about black women due to human nature accepting the negative before the positive. Even more, black women may read this and decide that their standards are too high and that they should have none at all. This is definitely a FAIL. They will decide that all black men they encounter will be worthy of the royal treatment. Having been a former social worker, I have seen the sister who holds her man down and 5 years of prison and countless babies later she has nothing to show for her efforts. I have seen the sister who goes through it with her "successful black man" only to be told that he is not sure that she is the one (because there must be someone better). Hell, I've been her. We need to do better. Black men having such a negative view of black women in general, I would rather them date white women, if they truly believe that they are getting something better. If that's what you would prefer, do it. Black women the world over have so much to deal with. With black men, we have to deal with nappy hair vs. "good" hair, light skin vs. dark skin and the semi-annual TV special and countless news articles of why black women are single. All of these things are a constant stress even when in a date situation with the conversation that you are offered by these "successful black men." The next man who makes any comment about my hair, I'm gonna slap him. Especially, if he doesn't know me. And the next man who starts a sentence with I love black women, but y'all are too "fill in the blank." Don Imus and John Mayer are the least of my concerns, because there words are borne of not only what black men think about us, but they'll even write a song about it. Who would really want to be with a man with this type of mindset? I don't even want to be around them and I won't. And we do not have "the man" to blame, because it is US who perpetuate this. This article is in Vibe magazine (of which I am not a patron) so this interview will be printed on one page and as soon as you flip the page, you will have some video vixen or "model" half-naked and objectified. These are the types that the "successful black men" such as Mr. Thug are after. And then they are upset when she wants some money in exchange for putting out. We are doing this to ourselves. Black women are perpetuated by the media and mostly our own men as the most undesirable, unwanted and unlovable creatures on God's earth. It is saddening. His comment about "bowing down" was a bit austere. I don't really know this guy's music nor am I a supporter of his, but this article struck a chord with me, because I have heard these same things echoed from men that I know or have gone on dates with. They feel that they have some success which makes them a hot commodity and that women should work harder and jump through hoops to pursue them. If they buy you a drink, they deserve a medal. In what world do these 30 and 40-year-old BABIES decide that only they are a catch and only they are desirable? Being a black woman is already the hardest job in America because we have to work, take care of a household and also go through great pains to make ourselves desirable to men. Sadly, this goes without being seen. I read this article and I don't know if this guy wants a lover/partner or a servant for hire.

All I know, is the only way ladies is to keep being you and do not let anyone tell you who you need to be. Be the best version of yourself possible and love her just the way she is. Overall well-being begins with a healthy mindset. Don't buy into garbage meant to set you back. And definitely, don't buy into to garbage black men like this dude who have been sent here by evil forces designed specifically to ruin your day.

Read the entire article here:

http://www.vibe.com/posts/slim-thug-black-women-need-stand-their-man-more?page=1&2053677174=1

It's official: I am an MBA grad!

2010-06-21T11:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon, in the presence of family and friends, I walked across the stage at Phillips Arena to become one of the newest MBA grads. The night before, I was able to spend some time with friends to celebrate my achievement. It was a blast. Whiskey Blue is a very nice venue and was a good choice to hang out with plenty of seating and great ambiance. This weekend was the best I could make of it with supportive and caring friends to share in this success. It was a great period of sacrifice and prayer for me to have made it this far. Because there were a lot of late nights where I had to wake up 4-5 hours later, come in to work and pretend to be an administrator! (chuckle) Anyhow, that chapter is now over and a new one begins.

New Day, New Page Design: How Ya Like Me Now!

2010-06-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

I decided to change my page layout. While, it is still somewhat neutral (I am partial to earth tones and not a lot of fussiness), it is a departure from the previous design. I am still making some changes, so I doubt that this is the finished product.

Is it me or is World Cup Fever on steroids this year? I am definitely happy to see the African American community getting in on the excitement. I am planning to go to a local tavern or pub and catch a few games before it ends on July 11th. Today, marks the 5-day countdown to my graduation. I will have family in town, but I have decided that this will be a zero-stress weekend. I have invited a few friends to hang out with me at Whiskey Blue at the W Buckhead for an informal celebration. I waited a bit late to have a more formal reception, but this will do just fine.

A Fun-Filled Weekend...

2010-06-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

I spent this weekend catching up with a few friends. Friday, I caught up with a girlfriend that I haven't hung out with in a while to catch the movie Sex & the City 2. It was decent enough. Of course, the clothes and shoes were out of sight, but they could have dialed up on the drama to give the plot more depth. I did enjoy hanging out with an old friend, so that made the excursion worth it. Saturday, rainy weather was predicted, but I was still able to go festival-hopping without getting caught in the rain. I went to Decaturfest and viewed arts and crafts and even hit a wine tasting at Sherlock's. We spent a couple of hours there and headed to Midtown Atlanta to Piedmont Park for the Atlanta Jazz Festival and it was a blast. That night we hit Spreadlove at 595 North and danced the night away to soulful house and tribal house music courtesy of DJ Kemit and Ramon Rawsoul. Sunday, I was able to catch up with another friend to attend a movie: Iron Man 2. It was pretty entertaining and I think that I like Don Cheadle as Rhodey better than Terrance Howard. Maybe it's the fact that he suited up in this one. Had an easy Monday and closed out the long weekend with a dinner date at Rare. They have definitely experienced a decline since re-opening after closing due to a fire. They were out of almost everything and one of use wound up eating just a salad. The long weekend was not quite long enough, but I am glad I was able to make the most of it.

Icons of the Andes: A Wine Experience

2010-05-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening, I attended a special tasting at Whole Foods at which I had the chance to meet six makers of fine Argentinian and Chilean wines. I am a fan of Malbecs which is the grape that Argentina is most known for. As with a lot of Italian wines, Argentina makes a lot of bold reds that are designed to be paired with foods which I love. Among some notable wines that I tasted were:

Achaval Ferrer Malbec Mendoza - This is a simple basic Malbec that pairs well with red meats, lamb and beef. It is everything that you expect a Malbec to be, hints of spice (cinnamon and clove), black currant. $19.99

Achaval Ferrer Quimera - This is a unique blend of Malbec (38%), Merlot (24%), Cabernet Sauvignon (24%) & Cabernet Franc (14%). I am a lover of red Bordeauxs and this was a delightful spin on the blended style of bordeauxs if you are looking for something with a little more dimension that your everyday California bordeaux-style wines. Lots of dark fruit and smokiness on the palette. Great with a grilled steak and can age for another 5 years. $25.99

Achaval Finca Altamira- This was the last wine I tasted in this series and I found out why. This is another Malbec from the same maker of the previous two wines, but the grapes are from a different region and each bottle of wine is made from grape bunches picked from the same vine. This one has more complexity and greater depth than the first Malbec and difference can be tasted. It has dark fruit aromas and a very long finish. $134.99

Bodega Norton Cabernet Sauvignon - Very smooth and rich Cabernet from Argentina. Another great food wine. Stays true to the traditional style of a Cabernet. Hint of spice, red and dark fruits, substantial finish. $13.99

Paschaul Sauvignon Blanc - Other than an occasional Torrentes, South American countries do a lot less in the way of white and sparkling wines than most regions. So, it was a delight to see this very good, fruity (pink grapefruit, melon) white (one out of three offered at this tasting). This is a white that is good with light pasta and vegetarian dishes. Think pastas tossed in olive oil and basil with fresh tomatoes. I made this purchase because I am already prone to buying more reds and I am cooking lighter fare (more spring veggies) and need some good wines to pair them with. $12.99

I Have Been Away Too Long!

2010-05-10T08:23:00.000-07:00

No, my blog is not defunct.I have been away from my blog for too long and there is much to tell! These past few weeks have been filled with changes at work, completing school (I finished my last class a few weeks ago), a bulging social calendar (catching up with those I've not had time to spend with while in school) and most recently my call to civic duty as a grand juror (yippee!). The week of my last class I enjoyed the Spreadlove Afri-salsa event with DJ Kemit and DJ Mafioso. My feet were swollen from dancing the next day. I also completed the long-awaited journey through north Georgia wine country. Actually, it was just Dahlonega (they have 4 wineries alone!). It is a perfect 1-day trip and I have envisioned planning a trip there for some friends who have not visited Georgia wine country. I am also thinking of making it a singles only trip. I am also glad that I made the trip solo first, so that I will know how to plan it (a more detailed blog on the trip to follow). I had the pleasure 2 weeks ago to spend time with my male counterparts for an entire weekend straight and it was delightful. I had not planned it this way, it kind of just happened. Thursday evening, I was invited to an album release party atop the Hotel Palamor (beautiful place, by the way) and enjoyed myself and met new people. Saturday evening I was invited by a male artist friend of mine to Fahamu Pecou's show: All Falls Down at Get This! gallery. There was an insightful panel discussion surrounding the show's theme of the issue of black men wearing their pants well below there waists or what is known as "sagging." The panelists came from different walks of life ranging from a photographer, community activist, rapper (Killer Mike) and a female activist. Everyone offered intelligent insights into the matter. At the age of 31, I personally would not consider a man who wore his pants at a level lower than his waist because it looks sloppy, childish and I don't want to know what kind of underwear you have on before I know your name. Sunday I viewed the Allure of the Automobile exhibit at the High Museum of Art with a male writer friend who I haven't seen in a while. That one kind of felt like and event that I could only appreciate with a man, because men do love their cars after all. After that, I hit Fiesta in the Park at Centennial Park and they had several great bands including a salsa band and a Santana cover band. I ended the evening at Sunday Dinner, a monthly house music social held at Danneman's Coffee Shop in the old fourth ward with a friend whom I have seen less of recently due to him taking a job in a neighboring state. It was refreshing to hang out with men who are fun, interesting and have great conversation.

Singing for My Supper: Popular Misconceptions of Life in Atlanta

2010-04-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

I have been an Atlanta transplant for about 3 years and I have friends who reside in other places, D.C., Florida etc. that I talk to a lot. Some are married, single and divorced. They have a lot of popular misconceptions of my single life here in Atlanta. I think that it actually disappoints some people that my life here is neither lonesome or loathesome (one friend told me as much). Hey, it actually surprises me sometimes. When I moved it here it really was just to have a change in scenery and to revitalize my career. So, I guess I didn't have impossible expectations. No one ever really asks me about the things one could hate about Atlanta (i.e traffic!) Even there, I am blessed, because I have a 3-minute drive to work.

These are popular misconceptions about life in Atlanta:

1. The best place to hang out is at the strip club.
Granted the adult entertainment industry in Atlanta grosses more income annually than all of the Atlanta sport teams combined (yes, the Braves, Hawks, Thrashers). But it is not all there is to do. It is something to do, if one chooses. When I moved here everyone wanted to offer to take me to a strip club because it is supposed to be such an experience. Well, I have been living without it and will continue to do so. I have been here for three years and never set foot in one of those clubs and I have no interest in doing so. And guess what? There are still ways for me to have a blast. I still have not run out of things to do. Although, I am single, I date regularly. I realized for the past 2 years, I am comfortable this way, because I work and have been working on my MBA full time. I also have pals that I enjoy activities with regularly.

2. It costs a lot of money to enjoy the city.
I remember when I was leaving college, the last place that I wanted to live was Atlanta. I had an internhsip here one summer and I hated the traffic and the amount of money I would sometime spend entertaining myself (i.e. clubs, movies, dining out, parking). I am glad that when I did moved here three years ago I was mature enough to know that there is nothing wrong with free event every now and then. Had I moved here when I was younger I would probably be tired of having no money right now! :-) I know where most of the choice free or almost free events are. I know a lot of the best local bands and musicians. A common mistake that is made when moving here is people ascribing to VIP lifestyle. Everybody is a star. $100 bottles of liquor that costs $30 at the store, VIP booths, $50 VIP parking. And there are people who do this every weekend with the little disposable income that they have. You know the ones. The $30,000 millionaires.

3. As a single woman, life is like an E. Lynn Harris novel.
There a people that I talk to and in EVERY conversation we have to have the gay black men conversation. It's always about how they would be afraid to date any man here because they ALL could be on the down low. As if the state of the black union is under attack enough! I had a conversation with a girlfriend recently who is married and of course after asking if I had a boyfriend and I said "no", she followed up with the statement, " I read an article stating that Atlanta is the gay capital of the world." I am not sure how I was supposed to repsond to that. I have yet another girlfriend that after reading the book "On the Down Low", she suspected that every guy she had ever dated was gay! There are plenty of gay black men here in Atlanta and they have their own sense of community. You may go places where you feel that it's over-run with gay black men. Anything that I do know that could be juicy is mostly third or fourth party. I am a pretty smart girl and am cautious and think through everything I do (some people even call me "overanalytical", because everything has to make sense in my mind). I don't really turn a blind eye to down low culture, but I refuse to become paralyzed by fear because of it. I have never been a person who was overly fearful of anything. that's now how I live my life. Never have. Never will. I am too free for that. I don't really know what people expect of me when I tell them that I date pretty regularly and I haven't dealt with situations so explosive that it looks to be torn straight from the pages of an E. Lynn Harris or Zane book. Should I not date at all because ALL of the men who show interest are most certainly gay? I haven't walked in one day to find a guy I was seeing bent over with another dude! It's disappointing, I know.

I am content.

Spring is here, fill up that social calendar....

2010-04-01T08:01:00.000-07:00

...although, sometimes the weather may prove to the contrary. I am always excited about spring's commencement, because it marks the beginning of my season of festival hopping and outdoor activities. I am even more excited because I will be done with classes soon, so I will have time to really capitalize on events. Wednesday Winddown at Centennial Park will begin next Wednesday evening. Since I am no longer in class on Wednesdays, I will be able to re-visit this concert series as I have not been able to do so in the past 2 years. I am already filling up my social calendar with activities ranging from concerts to festivals to art strolls. The past few days delivered some beautiful weather here in Atlanta and I hope that it continues to do so. It's in the 80's today and will be 84 tomorrow. So, this weekend looks promising.

I urge everyone else to get out those social calendars, buy your bee pollen and get active!

The Simplistic Road to Matrimony

2010-03-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

This has been a discussion of enlightenment that I had with my fellow single girlfriends as I have had the "joy" of encountering lots of engaged or recently-married couples. First, I can't help but notice that nearly ALL marrieds become expert authorities on the reason that single women are single. It entails the usual; too picky, not submissive enough, etc (the men also help provoke this too). But after being friends with several honest, platonic male friends, I think I have a more simple, but practical view. And here it is:

Men only get married when they are ready to.

I have hoards of girlfriends that have tried to tell me over the years the secrets an "tricks" to getting and keeping a man...exercising, submitting, compromising. This is a bunch of harmful propaganda from the bowels of hell to make women feel bad about themselves and to feel that the next woman is more marriageable than they are and that, they, somehow, do not stack up to the competition. But overall, I have realized that the answer is...nothing. There is nothing that a woman can do but be true to herself. It does not matter how dynamic of a person a woman is. If he is not ready to marry you, he won't. I have a friend who is 40 years of age who has lived in Atlanta for 18 years. He has dated countless women and from the stories that he has told me, some were definite catches. He imported his most recent girlfriend from up north and he told me a few weeks ago "I've got plans for so-and-so, she aint going nowhere and neither am I." And you know what? I believe him. It's biblical really. He who FINDETH a good woman... Women always walk around thinking that we are the ones choosing, but when it comes to matrimony, I believe that it is really up to the man. I think that we all have that friend who gets their hair and nails done every birthday, Valentine's Day and every holiday in between, thinking that her man will propose to her, but he doesn't. It's painful to watch. I've watched it go on with one woman I know for about a year and a half now. I used to wonder, "What's so wrong with her? How could he not propose?" She was cute, educated, sweet, living with the guy and her entire world revolved around this man. Only recently did it the Eureka! moment come to me surrounding this and I've told every woman I know. Even over the phone, I sense that Eureka! moment with them too. As if to say, "Ya know what? You've got a point." Even if they feel they don't agree wholeheartedly, it makes them take pause to reflect. I know most women will feel that I am oversimplifying, but to take a page from the book of my guy friends "Men are simple." The reason that your friend may be married or engaged is that destiny knocked and sooner or later it may be your turn. It is not because she is a better catch than you. So, do not worry about how you stack up to your single or married female counterparts. It is up to God when that man "finds" you. We all know that guy who was a swingin' single (none of the girls he dated was "the One") and all of his friends got married and a year or so later, you hear that he's engaged. And you see the girl and you thought that he had probably found Halle Berry's clone, but she is just a girl. He just decided it was time for him to get married and so he did.

Cheers to a Wonderful Weekend!

2010-03-01T08:08:00.000-08:00

I had a pretty busy weekend or Saturday, rather. I suggested that a group of tasting buddies and I, in lieu of our monthly tasting gathering, celebrate OTBN (Open That Bottle Night). OTBN is always the 4th Saturday in February and was created by the wine writers of the Wall Street Journal about 10 years ago. This is a night that you gather with friends and open a bottle of wine that you have been saving. This is a fun night, in which you can tell the story behind your bottle and there are no price or grape/varietal stipulations. My wine was bought fairly recently as I have just begun to collect wines for cellaring late last year.My wine the Stephen Vincent Crimson (this one is turning in to quite the crowd pleaser) was the favorite of the night and a Chianti by Dellatorri...

Notes: I was a nice full-bodied, smooth wine with notes of cherry that opened up nicely when it was decanted. This one works well with red pasta sauce dishes and could definitely stand up to a steak and strong cheeses.

...and on to the party's after-party....

After the OTBN party, I attended the Spreadlove event at 595 North. It was a blast. They played a great Fela Kuti set, some tribal house and drew a huge, eclectic crowd of people just looking to dance til they sweat. Rich Medina was the guest DJ in town and shared duties with DJ Kemit. I danced my butt off and went home and slept like a champ.

Value Wine List: Best Value Wines

2010-02-26T09:16:00.000-08:00

I have decided to compile a small list of wines suitable for everyday drinking or if you just want a great go-to wine that is priced just right and is easily accessible. I noticed that I have several go-to wines in my mental wine arsenal when money and time is tight and I am looking to entertain with certain meals.

Pepperwood Grove Pinot Noir, California:

I tried this one at an event that I attended about 2 years ago and it has been my go-to Pinot ever since. I eat a lot of salmon and chicken and this one is perfect for lemon butter and rosemary herbed salmon and also pairs well with herb-roasted chicken. If there is a Whole Foods near you, they have a 2 bottles for $11.99 package deal that is found there exclusively. Interestingly, the wine is vinted in California, but the juice comes from Australia. This one is smooth, not high in alcohol content,garnet-colored with hints strawberry and cherry. The simplicity of this one makes for a perfect everyday drinking wine.

McManis Cabernet Sauvignon:

This one is ruby/purplish in color.I can taste the prevalent blackberry and dark berry fruit in this one along with the spiciness of clove. High tannins with a nice, long finish. I usually pair this one with a Filet Mignon dish that I make with Cabernet sauce made from the same wine. I make the Cabernet sauce with beef stock, shallots, tarragon, heavy cream and Cabernet. I note this as pairing wines with dishes that have sauces can be tricky. Pair the wine according to the sauce, not just the meat. Priced anywhere from $8.99-11.99 this is a nicely made wine for the money.

Ironstone Symphony Obsession:

This is the perfect wine to get the most intimidated wine drinker off of "White Zin Island"!:-). This slightly sweet and slightly effervescent wine is very light, perfect for a hot summer's day. It can be consumed alone or with spicy Mexican (I pair it with my spicy turkey or chicken enchiladas), Asian (Indian or Thai) dishes if someone wants an alternative wine to Riesling or Gewurztraminer. Priced around $8.99, I like the nose on this wine as much as I like the taste. The bouquet is a bouquet (of flowers, that is) and the honeysuckle makes me think of home, because every spring and summer morning you wake up in Pineland, SC it smells like honeysuckle!

These are just a few of my favorite wines with more to come!

Valentine's Day Wine Event...

2010-02-15T08:47:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I served as the wine guide for a Valentine's Day wine tasting held at the home of some friends. It was also my debut as a wine host. I spent weeks doing research for the event and compiling a list of wines (total of 25 or more) suitable for the holiday and priced under $15. The wines were assigned to those who RSVP'd to the event. We had a lot of snow on Friday which caused many people to drop out, but we still had a turnout of least 20 people. I had 10 wines to present and a few interesting reception wines until the tasting got underway. We had a wonderful cheese selection and some light bites such as bruschetta and chocolate truffle fudge. I was very pleased with the results. I also made notes of things that I would improve upon for my next event. The were people who were attending their very first wine tasting. I received a lot of positive feedback from guests and despite the large crowd, I was able to answer some questions they had about tasting techniques, the aging process and how the wines were chosen.

Here are some standout wines from the tasting:

Hannah Nicole Chardonnay:
This is a very easy drinking wine and has a wonderful fruity nose. It is very fruit forward (I compared it to fruit cocktail), not too oaky and clean on the finish. I would drink this one on a hot summer day.

Naked Chardonnay:
In contrast to the Hannah Nicole, this wine has not been aged in oak. It has citrus notes along with some pear and peach.

Stephen Vincent Crimson:
This was actually the wine that I was assigned to bring and was a hit among the red wine lovers. The color is a beautiful deep, dark crimson (hence the name). I detected lots of plum and blackberry and a hint of cinnamon in this one. It is an excellent wine to pair with food. I would drink it with lamb or beef dishes. 75% Syrah, 25% Cabernet.

Natural Hair Journey: Six Things I Didn't Know

2010-02-11T06:01:00.000-08:00

I know that I haven't talked about my natural hair journey in a while. It has definitely been a revelation, to say the least:

Here are six things that I didn't know about my natural hair. I didn't know that:

1) There are so many people over the age of 30 who still use the expression "good" and "bad" hair. Even before I became a natural I had stopped using these terms. (I refer to age, because the age of 30 should be the official age of "knowing better.")

2) The hair classification system could be so helpful. A lot of people feel that the hair classification system is another way to divide black women (2a hair being wavy, 4b being the tight, kinky hair), but I was able to see the benefits in order to know what products work best on my hair. All products for "black" hair care are not created equal and do not have the same results on all types of hair simply because we are all black. I wish it were that simple for my 4b hair, but it's not. See this site to find your hair type (http://www.naturallycurly.com/hair-types).

3) There are so few hair products for black women with natural hair available in stores. I remember as a permie, I always though that my local Korean hair care store would be able to satisfy all of my hair care needs. I admit that I am a product junkie, but I am also addicted to reading the ingredients on products. Now that I know my hair type, I know the ingredients that are the most dangerous for my hair (mineral oil and petroleum or petrolatum). I went in the store and walk out empty handed because almost all black haircare products contain these two ingredients which are drying to black hair. As far as products are concerned when shopping in-store, staying basic with products with fewer ingredients is the best way to start ( i.e. coconut oil, olive oil) until you get that hang of all of the scientific jargon on the labels. Most of my shopping is done online on hair care sites that cater specifically to natural hair such as www.afrokinks.com, www.hairveda.com and www.growafrohairlong.com. I also, check out sites such as Youtube www.nappturality.com or look up videos as a lot of women post product reviews and demos.

4) My 4b hair is the most feared and vilified hair type within the black community. My parents don't even like my hair this way. I have learned that there even amongst naturals, there is a preferred hair texture. I have heard men say that natural hair is better when she has "good" hair (meaning the 3a-3c hair type). I read a posting on a natural hair site from a woman who has natural 3b hair say that she was "glad she didn't have that 4b hair."

5) I would get so much attention from other races of men. I was pretty sure that interest from black men would wane (which was definitely the case), but I didn't think that interest from other races would increase. Especially not here in Atlanta. The "born -and -raised -in -the south" types certainly surprise me, but I get a lot of European attention too.

6) So many people would ask to touch my hair. A lot of guys don't even ask, they just do it and it doesn't really bother me. No one ever asked to touch my hair as a permie and I probably would have been bothered by the sentiment, but I guess natural hair is more inviting to the touch.

Workin' and Juicin'...

2010-02-03T07:58:00.000-08:00

Tonight marks twelve more weeks of classes for me. I officially have 2 more classes to complete until I am done with my MBA. I completed and submitted tonight's assignment yesterday. I am in a pretty good mood today. I have changed my morning wake-up routine a bit. Added in a little exercise. I am getting up a little earlier in order to fit in some yoga/Pilate's after my morning prayer and water. I try to do at least 10 minutes every morning. I do feel a bit more energized in the mornings when I come in. I have also decided that I am going to starting "juicing". Fruits and veggies that is. I am going to try the wheatgrass stuff and report back. I have a juicer that was given to me by my mom almost a year ago who had it a couple of years and never used it. I found an instructional demo on Youtube, so I am pretty well-versed now on how to use it. More on that endeavor later.

Current Events...

2010-01-28T09:16:00.000-08:00

This has been a very interesting week, to say the least, on the work and school fronts. I had my last week of my Human Resources this week and last night, my team had a presentation. it went well overall, except one of the team members failed to dress in business attire. So, there we were, two of us dressed in business suits (we both have jobs with that dress code) and one of us in spandex denim skinny jeans and knee-high boots. Aaahhh, the pains of team assignments never end. In other news, I now have a new phone. I threw my old phone at my dashboard and broke it in half (that story another time) and needed a new one badly. Fortunately, I was due for an upgrade. Much to my chagrin, there are virtually no flip phones. People at work use to tease me because my phone was so old. I mean, it had a camera! I am not a chick who is way into having the latest gadgetry. I just need to be able to make calls and send the occasional text. My new phone is a Samsung Flight. It is a slide phone with dual capabilities with touch-screen and keypad. I am still trying to figure out how to work this thing and am hoping that people start calling me, so that I will have their numbers. My phone was so old that the SIM card was not compatible with the new system and was useless for retrieving my numbers. I got my phone from Radio Shack, so they don't have the system available to transfer my info. I will try to make it out to the AT&T store this weekend while I am wrapping up my wine research. Things have gone a bit crazy at work with the whole Toyota recall mess. It affects a lot of other cars because even "American" cars are Toyotas. For instance, the Pontiac Vibe is a Toyota Matrix. Same Toyota-manufactured parts and all. Tonight, I have my friend's French wine tasting which should be interesting. I have a French Chardonnay and have decided on my Brie and cranberry with toasted walnuts dish to compliment my bottle. This one was a crowd pleaser when I last served it and it pairs well with my wine.

Hectic New Year...

2010-01-19T06:29:00.000-08:00

I have been away for a while. I just realized that I had not posted anything since last year! Things have been just that hectic with me with school, work and social obligations. I am planning to host a Valentine's Day tasting with some friends at which I will be a "sommelier" (okay not really, but the low-budget version). Doing the legwork of finding appropriate Valentine's Day wines (Beaujolais, Burgundy, Cabernets) all under $15 is definitely time consuming. I found several interesting bottles at Wine Cellars in Smyrna, GA. I will resume my research this weekend. The fact that the deep-freeze that we were under has lifted, makes progress easier. I also have a French whites tasting with some friends who are a part of a small tasting group. Last week, I found out about some interesting and affordable French whites at a tasting at Eno by ZaZA located in Midtown Atlanta. I have also been spending time catching up with friends in the new year. With all that i have been doing, I have still missed out on plenty of other interesting events. I plan to play catch up soon enough, though.

Better Person Initiative: SWOT Analysis

2009-12-29T09:43:00.001-08:00

During my previous course, we discussed marketing principles that I also covered as a marketing major while I was in undergraduate school. Among these topics was the good ole SWOT analysis (I have learned that it has now changed to SWOTT since undergrad). I recently thought that this analysis need not be limited in application to a marketing project or proposed market entry for a business. It can also be applied to one's self. It can allow you to take honest self-inventory of qualities and skills you posses and identify those that you you like to improve upon. You are your most valuable product. Whether you are active in the job or entrepreneurial market, entering the dating scene or just looking to be the best possible version of yourself ("insert name here" 2.0).

SWOT:

Strengths
Weaknesses
Opportunities
Threats

Strengths: You can identify these as your finer points/skills; proficient in excel, bi-lingual, adaptability, ethical, spiritual

Weaknesses: Identify these as shortcomings or things that could be improved upon (remember to be honest with yourself); impatient, stubborn, lack of experience in e-commerce

Opportunities: Can be identified as wherever a window of opportunity presents itself for whatever future endeavor this analysis will be based upon; business networking (professional organizations etc.), social connections/dating (speed dating events or joining groups for special interests you may have like rock climbing, etc)

Threats: These are identified as potential hindrances to your accomplishing your endeavors. Note the use of the word "potential" as if you are able to identify them, then you will be able to take the proper steps to avoid them altogether; i.e fluctuating gas prices and air travel prices if your goal is to do more traveling, lack of demand in a down economy and job market if your are seeking a career change or start a new business or dwindling dating pool of eligible singles in your area.

A SWOT analysis of yourself can prove to be helpful to you. Even you you try this for fun, you may find out something interesting about yourself and your goals. You may find that you are closer than you think, or, worst-case scenario, completely off track!

The Holidays...

2009-12-21T11:50:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe the holidays are almost here. I am gearing up for my mini journey this coming Friday to SC. Christmas day is also my mother's birthday, so it is always interesting. This year my holidays have been pretty low-key. I have sort of been in my own world in that regard. I haven't gotten too caught up in the holiday cheer this year. (The person who invented gift cards is a genius, I tell ya.)I didn't even put up lights. It seems like it was December 1st yesterday. I am doing pretty good with keeping up my exercise regimen during this holiday season. I didn't do too bad last year either, though.

Limitations...

2009-12-14T13:04:00.000-08:00

After having this conversation with more than a few of my fellow single friends, I thought that it might be great to share in print. Accept people's limitations. Now, we all have limitations and I think that we need to recognize that we will have people in our lives who are limited. Limitations can be cultural, intellectual, emotional (the inability to love you in the capacity you wish to be loved). That being said, I think that it is a good practice to have certain friends with whom you can share certain experiences. People who are at my age who find themselves single, have a completely different mindset than our married counterparts. This goes for males and females. While we have all experienced more of life by the age of 30, the types of experiences are different. The experiences and adventure of marrieds are more family-centered or centered around at least a couple of people. The experiences of singletons of this age are more individual centered and revolves around singular interests as we have expanded our mindsets and open ourselves to the possibility of the unknown. We are more inclined to expand our personal experiences outside of what is considered the status quo because, frankly, we've got the time. A single person may plan to live a year in India, go to a Broadway show, go rock climbing or backpack through Europe. This is a new spin on the idea that practitioners of the old school possess: single and married people should NOT be friends. I recall that shortly after high school a schoolmate of mine married a man who was a few years older and he would tell her that married women should be friends with other married women. We never hung out with her much because she was the only one of us who was married. Married or "domestically coupled" people can be cool, but accept that you may only be able to get them to do things which they feel are within a comfort zone. A lot of them a moms or dads. The same goes for other singles who are not exposed to the different things to which you have been exposed. Respect and accept that some people do not want to be exposed. Just enjoy the things that you DO have in common together and should an event come up that you know they would be interested in, give them a call. Certain friends for certain things. A male friend of mine had regularly begun hanging out with an old college buddy who had recently gotten divorced. He married at around 23 and split with his wife at 30. My friend had a difficult time hanging out with him and was frustrated and mostly embarrassed with his often spastic interaction with women when they were out. His friend is someone who is comfortable being married and is a person who was very defined by his marriage. He was sort of, well, lost. Without it, he had difficulty knowing who he was and was trying to do that by chasing skirts with great and pathetic desperation in an effort to prove to no one but himself that he was, in fact, a young, handsome, single and desirable male not the divorced father of three who had packed on 60 lbs during his marriage. He has since moved back in with his ex-wife and 3 kids. Being single is not for the faint of heart. I recall a movie where a guy referred to his newly single brother as an indoor cat because he was used to be safe and having his milk brought to him and his single brother was an outdoor cat who has to go out and get something to eat if he wants it. Single folks of our age have gotten used to making it happen on our own. Being a singleton can be a fabulous and sometimes hard job. But somebody's got to do it.

Invest in You...

2009-12-01T12:42:00.000-08:00

During today's trying times, no one wants to hear the term investment as it conjures up the real estate nightmare and economic woes. The investment that I would like to encourage is the investment in oneself. It is probably the one investment that you still have some control over and always pays out whenever you put something worthwhile into it. Invest in your own emotional, spiritual, mental and physical well-being, because you should not depend on someone else to do it for you. Investment does not have to be monetary. Your investment can mean time by doing things such as getting an extra hour of sleep when you know that you haven't been resting enough. Another investment can mean spending more time in prayer and meditation to aid in alleviating stress and worry. Invest in a ballroom dancing or belly dancing class to shake up your exercise routine or just to try something new and fun. Invest in a foreign language course or additional certification to expand your career skill set.

This Weekend...

2009-11-23T07:21:00.000-08:00

This weekend was a laid back but eventful weekend. Friday night I checked out Jazz at the High, a monthly jazz event that features different jazz artists at the High Museum of Art. Chris Crenshaw was the featured artist who is from Thomson, GA who has played under Wynton Marsalis for the Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra. It was a very good turnout despite the cold weather and a wonderful overall performance. I have a dual membership which cost I split with a co-worker, so a guest and I were free. Saturday, I went to the Buford Highway Farmer's Market for an Asian food demo/show. This was also a free event. I met up with some friends and we had a ball. The food was tasty as there were several demo booths set up throughout the market. We attended a show there called "The Chinese Southern Belle". The hostess was a Chinese American woman born and raised in Smyrna, GA. She chronicled her life in Georgia being the only Chinese child in her school and having to make Chinese-fusion dishes mainly because of the lack of availability of Asian foods in grocery stores. She did a demo on how to make authentic Chinese egg rolls. Ironically, there is no deep-frying involved and the wrapping is a lot thinner on traditional egg rolls. It offers a much healthier alternative to what we get at your local Chinese takeout with the way they are prepared. After this event, we travelled to Buckhead Wine Storage to an Italian wine tasting. This was a very intimate event and the wine reps were from Vinifera, a distribution company for fine Italian wines. Of the six wines, there were 2 standouts for me. The first was a Sangiovese, Merlot, Cabernet blend and the other was a type that I had never heard of, Taurasi. The Taurasi had a lot of smooth complexity, fruit-forward and would be perfect for Thanksgiving if you have the $65 to spare for this boutique wine. It can be found at Hall's of Fine Wines in the Virginia-Highland area. African American owner John Hall also owns Buckhead Wine Storage.

The week has almost come to a close, but not quite...

2009-11-19T11:09:00.000-08:00

The only thing better than the day before Friday, is Friday. I am glad this week is almost over. Next week, I have my last Marketing class before starting business law. This last paper promises to be a doozy. The instructor has been great and has a lot of business insider knowledge that she is happy to share with our class. It is unbelievable that this year is practically over. looking forward to the new year and great, new things. In the coming year, I will be completing my MBA and paying off my vehicle (yippee!). I am also researching some new things that I would like to try in the near future. As for this weekend, I am headed to the farmer's market near me on Saturday for a free food demo show and to check out their produce. I plan to hit a few free wine tastings too.

Golden Time of Day

2009-11-06T07:21:00.000-08:00

Today is a beautiful day. The weather is sunny, not too cold. It is also Friday. The only thing to make it better would be if it were also payday. But, I digress. I am listening to the song Gold Time of Day by Maze featuring Frankie Beverly (on repeat). It's just one of those songs that makes you feel good. They don't make 'em like this anymore:

There's a time of the day when the sun is going down
That's the golden time of day
It's a time that the sun turns a gold all around
That's the golden time of day
At the end of the day when the wind is soft and warm
Don't it make the flowers sway
When the sun settles down and it takes a lovely form
That's the golden time of day
People let me tell you There's a time in your life when you find who you are
That's the golden time of day
In your mind you will find your a bright shining star
Ooh that's the golden time of day
When you feel deep inside all the love your looking for
Don't it make you feel okay
Like the time of the day when the sun is going down
That's the golden time of day
That's the golden time of day
That's the golden time of day

Shining can't you see it shining

from the song "Golden Time of Day by Maze featuring Frankie Beverly

2009-11-02T06:08:00.000-08:00

After Friday, my weekend tapered off into two days of rest and homework. It rained all day on Saturday and Sunday was beautiful. I got started on Wednesday's assignment, although my home Internet was not cooperating. This one's gonna be a doozy, so I started early. Thankfully, I have the trusty Dekalb County Library system. I did get a chance to try a recipe for chicken satay on Saturday. It was a spicy, delicious treat. I sauteed some bok choy and leeks for a side dish in garlic, lemon and olive oil. So, I had a nice little Asian-inspired dinner. Thank God for whomever invented the concept of farmer's market. The prices on veggies at the supermarket can wreak havoc on the wallet. I love the Asian markets, because of the veggie prices and the selections of rare vegetables that are staples in their diets. I also love the selection of herbal teas that don't cost and arm and a leg.

Last Night's Adventure...

2009-10-30T06:19:00.001-07:00

As you all are aware, I went out yesterday evening to enjoy a night of live music and free food and Primal. I have never been to Primal before, so I left my house early as the promotional flyer suggested early arrival. First, I though this would be a great way for me to get out for a few hours and still make it home early enough to get enough rest for the next morning. This was not to be so. I was so disgusted with the way the night turned out that I sent an angry e-mail to the event's promotional team that read as follows:

This was a properly promoted but poorly executed event which of the likes I will never attend again. Nothing on the flyer was what is was supposed to be. First of all, though Keisha Jackson is an excellent and charismatic performer who really connects with the crowd, she was not "unplugged" as the flyer states. Unplugged basically means acoustic and nothing is plugged in. The club's patrons were made to wait an hour while the band "plugged" everything in. "Doors open at 8". "Early arrival strongly suggested." "Tickets available for free...No waiting." I arrived at 8:15 and was made to stand outside with four other people for an hour. "Complimentary Buffet from 9:30-11:30". I was there until 11:15 and the caterer had still not arrived. Live band "starting 9pm". The band got onstage after 10pm. The performer going onstage late is only acceptable if the venue does not go into full on club mode after 11:30pm, which is exactly what Primal does. They really didn't have all night. I was not impressed with the way EXPERIENCED promoters handled guests and the constant blame shifting "Uh, it wasn't my week to open up, it was my partner's."
Monstar Ent & Billionaire Barbies: Promoters who will go on my list of promoter's I will not be supporting in the future.

Good Times!

2009-10-29T05:56:00.000-07:00

I had a great time at last week's Fela Kuti tribute, although I didn't stay as long as I wanted to. My date was tired after Roy Ayers left the stage. Mausiki Scales and the Common Ground Collective are a band that I have heard a lot about, but I now realize that I will try to see more of them in the future. I got my face painted as there were free face painters! I was so ready to really dance after that and as soon as I was about to start, he was ready to go. Note to self: stop inviting dates to events designed to have a really great time. It always worked out so well when I was solo or with my regular dancing buddy. Tonight, I plan to see Keisha Jackson (Millie Jackson's daughter) perform live at Primal. Free entry, free food and live music...I'm there. She is supposed to be a pretty dynamic performer as she has performed with Erykah Badu, Anthony David, Raphael Saadiq and Outkast. My aunt was a huge Millie Jackson fan back in the day and I have one of her albums. Keisha looks just like her mama, so if that is any indication of things to come...

The Weekend's Almost Here...

2009-10-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

.....And I am elated. I got my grades on my final paper and final exam from my last class and I aced them both. I am pretty psyched about that victory. I met my marketing professor for the first time last night and she is pretty laid back and very accomplished. Also, well-traveled. She has worked in the auto industry and has lived in Sweden and China. I have been thinking of traveling abroad more and more lately. Not just for leisure. But for the past year or so, I have been thinking of living abroad for a few years. The economy is down and the exchange rate sucks right now, but I was thinking of London because I wanted to go to an English-speaking country first. I don't know if it is God's confirmation, but every other person that I have met over the past year has lived abroad for at least a year. After I complete my MBA, I plan to take Spanish classes at the social services agency near my home. They offer them for a pretty good price. I am also contemplating an accelerated Excel course too. I have seriously been thinking of life after my MBA and thinking of little things to add to my skill set and repertoire. My teacher also made an interesting comment about those working adults who receive their MBA. She said that most people who receive their MBA degree vacate the current jobs that they have within the year. Not because of their employer, but because while they have expanded and grown their job has not. People want to use the knowledge that they have obtained and feel more fulfilled. It is a matter of knowing, having and wanting more. Right now a choice like this will present a challenge given the current state of the job market, but I am seriously weighing my options, including entrepreneurship. I have always had the firmly held belief that owning one's own business was not for everyone. I now believe that owning my own business is only possible for me if it is something that I truly enjoy or feel passionate about. If I had a penny for every person that I heard say "I just can't see working for somebody else for the rest of my life..." I mean sure, there are people who seriously have the entrepreneurial spirit, but others (and these are people I know personally) are usually just unhappy with what they are doing or are unwilling to work anywhere. you know the ones; 12 jobs in 2 years, loses or quits a job and suddenly claims to be starting their own business with no real capital, no formal business plan or strategy. Then there are those who want to own a business because they've seen others do it. That's a popular reason here in Atlanta. Atlanta, of course, is a great place to start a business as a minority. Atlanta is also a city fighting to stay a big country town although it is very much an international city and home of the world's largest international airport. A lot of outside-of-the-perimeter influence from people who ride into town long enough to make sure the city stays behind with the rest of the state. But I digress, that's politics for some other blog.

Autumn is Officially Here...

2009-10-15T09:01:00.000-07:00

Last night I took my final exam for this finance class. I still has one final paper to complete, but I am glad this class is almost behind me. I have a friend coming into town this weekend whom I haven't seen in almost a year. It should be a nice time to catch up and soak in some of the things the city has to offer with an old pal. It is officially chilly here right now, so I need to seriously get to packing up my summer clothes and pulling out the boots and sweaters. I will definitely get started on that today. I took the day off tomorrow to complete my paper and hang out with my friend. It's also time for my big cooking season to begin. I cook pretty regularly anyways, but mostly non-labor intensive convenient stuff during the warmer months. I've been bit by my annual baking bug and for the last several days have been looking for new things to try.

Lockdown!!!

2009-10-09T07:54:00.000-07:00

This weekend I plan to be locked up in my house as I have 2 papers to write and a final exam to prepare for. I also have another homework assignment. All of this is due by Wednesday. I am not all that thrilled about my current professor, but this class will be all over on Wednesday. I have 4 classes until I complete my MBA after that. I am getting pretty burnt out with work, school and all. I have come across a free event here in Atlanta that I will probably keep on my calendar of things to do. It's called Sunday Dinner and is a music event held at Danneman's Coffee Shop in the Old 4th Ward of Atlanta. This past weekend they had a themed event that is held annually called "The Battle of the 45 Kings." This event is the art of turntablism at its finest with some of the best DJ's that most Atlantans have never heard of (DJ Kemit, DJ Boogie Nite and DJ Applejack). They are the kind of DJ's who can actually spin with vinyl. The "Battle" consisted of the DJ's spinning the best soul music in the expansive respective collections of 45' records. Once I got up and started dancing, I didn't sit down until it was over (The Ashford & Simpson, Roy Ayers, Double Exposure and vintage Michael Jackson was just too good!). This is an alcohol-free family-friendly, monthly event, so I was happy to see that people actually brought their children. It is good to see them being exposed to "good" music of eras past. I definitely feel that my life is richer for the exposure my parents to the music of the 60's and 70's. Finding these types of events have really been great for me. You don't even need a dance partner with this type of music, because dancing is not really about "grinding" on the dance floor and the guys are at an age that when the do dance with you, they're not all over you on the floor. A great source of cardio. So, you really can "dance as if no one is watching." My favorite has been the Spreadlove events (also held monthly at 595 North) which usually has a different theme every month featuring DJ Kemit. I have been to several and only paid to get into one of them. There is a "free-before" deal and drinks are not expensive. They don't do the "holding-the-line" trick either, so you can just walk right in. Very unpretentious event with unpretentious people. I no longer have any desire to go to regular clubs where the "DJ" plays CD's and the same songs are always played in the same exact order every time, you pay $20 for entry, $20 for parking and $10 for a drink and if you can get in free before a certain time, the line is held up. It may all come down to the fact that I am too old for all that nonsense. Atlanta is a city where the cost of living is not very high, yet everyone claims that it's so expensive. This is because the pitfall of many young people when they move here often involves a lot of clubbing and so on. The whole fascination with the strip club is akin to flushing money down the toilet. When one friend told me what he spends on one night a the strip club, I wanted to ask him if he had eaten a bog ole plate of crazy for dinner in feeling that it was justified. Here's the math:

Parking-$30
Entry- at least $50
Dances-$10 per dance
Making it Rain-at least $100 in $1 dollar bills
Bottle Service- $100 per bottle

Realizing the tomfoolery in it all- Priceless

I do more than my share of going out but, I have never been one to buy into what I call the "VIP" mindset of a lot of young Atlantans. It involves having to have VIP parking, getting in the VIP line, paying for a VIP booth and bottle service. I go to a lot of free and interesting events where I meet interesting people. I think an open mind is all you really need to enjoy Atlanta, because it has so much more to offer than the clubs. This is the reason that so many people (particularly single black women) my age that are here have grown to dislike Atlanta. When they got here in their 20's, it was all about clubbing and partying. Once they've entered their 30's they've grown tired of the club scene and have never really explored anything else about the city. So they sit at home claiming that there's nothing to do. There's plenty to do, they're just not doing it. There a lots of museums, parks, restaurants, theaters and great local music artists that don't include TI or Jeezy.

New Developments.....

2009-09-09T05:39:00.000-07:00

I survived my last class and Finance starts this week. I know that I have all but abandoned my blog, but many things have have happened as far as family, finances, work and school. Work is busier than ever and I have a hard time getting everything done. I am swamped here at work and school has been crazy and it is ALL stressful. I took an extra day off for the holidays just to catch up on things that I just hadn't had any time to do. Here's an update:

Family + Devotion = Drama (that's all I gotta say)

Hair - It's growing out pretty nicely, I've noticed for the first time yesterday. I also have a new and inexpensive product that works wonders in the area of moisture. Palmer's Coconut Milk Moisturizer. It's a great moisturizer for natural, kinky hair. It's good for twist-outs and does not contain the 2 worst enemies for African American hair: mineral oil or petroleum. It has coconut milk, shea butter and coconut oil.

Physical fitness - Still maintaining the 18 lbs lost and have increased my cardio to light jogging/walking intervals. Not exactly dieting, but still eating right and using reasonable food substitutions.

School- This last class was a bit rough for me and I need an A in this current class. My overall GPA hasn't suffered, though. I also changed learning teams, because I had a clash of personalities with one of my back-stabbing team members.

Finances- Money's funny and change is strange.

At a Crossroads...

2009-07-21T07:33:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow marks the last day of my Statistics class. I will be glad when it is over. I am at work totally exhausted today because I was up until 3:30 this morning trying to complete a presentation for tomorrow's class. It also looks like I will also find another team to join after this class as I have become a victim of espionage (long story). I am also contemplating my next move with my current employer once I am done with my degree. I am in the travel industry and while my company remains an industry leader in its market, they are not unaffected by the economic crisis. I find myself at a crossroads as far as my next career move. I do not wish to make the same mistake that I did at my former employer. I stayed miserable for too long at one employer, became complacent, lost sight of goals and found myself in a financial cul de sac. I like the company, but the career path of my choice may not be feasible given the current economic climate. I will be done with classes around the beginning part of next year, so I will definitely be doing some soul searching until then. GM is out of bankruptcy as of last week, so that is good news in my industry, but I know it take more than that to turn things around.

A bane to my existence...

2009-07-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

Why does it seem that there are people to who exist solely to wreak general havoc in your life? You know the ones. The ones who are supposed friends, but once you become enlightened, you realize that they bring nothing positive to the table in terms of your friendship. I have been fortunate enough over the last 2 years to whittle down my list of "friends" and God has replaced them with good people who enrich my life greatly. Prior to my friend-purging experience I had subscribed myself to the school of thought that old friends were the best friends and I had no need of new ones because if you weren't already a friend of mine, you weren't going to be. Cut throat, I know. But that's what I thought. After a few bad experiences with "new friends", I just stopped trying. 2 years ago I had a harrowing experience with a friend who hurt me deeply and we had been friends for 10 years. That day I petitioned God to send me some "real friends". People who have something positive to offer in my life rather than seeking to take advantage of or hurt me. This past weekend I realized that the circle of friends and associates that I had always wished I had has come together. They are creative, intelligent, fun and mature people. They are people who inspire and are inspired by me. The kind of people that I never thought could be a part of my circle. A lot of friends I had in the past often made me feel as though I was the odd man out and there are times that I wished I were more "normal." This revelation came to my mind after being contacted by a slew of friends/acquaintances/boyfriends from the past over the past 2 weeks. This may even seem selfish to some, but the response that came to mind is " I am living my new and improved life right now and I really don't have room in my life for you or your foolishness." It's not that all of these people are bad by nature, but I am moving in a different direction and they no longer have anything in common with me and my goals. These friends come in many different forms. Among them are:

1) The text-bomber- The text-bomber is the reason that I keep the phone numbers of the guys I date at least 6 months after we've lost contact. They are bound to resurface (even when things did not end particularly well), usually in the form of a text or call and I'll know to ignore their call. A guy messaged me this past week that I haven't heard from in 2 years! This is especially the case for me as I work in the travel industry and folks keep your number because they will eventually find themselves in need of a hook-up.

2) The bone collector- The bone collector is that person who pops up every so often, when they are looking for a bone to carry or rather get all in your business. You know them. Before you can say "hello" they've asked you 50 questions in the span of 5 minutes. Before the week is out you talk to another friend who is able to give you a rundown of your life's activities from information obtained from said bone collector.

3) The violinist- You don't hear from this person until something terrible has happened (usually a gut-wrenching breakup). So, there you are on your sofa for 2 hours listening and nodding to the whole story. Because you figure "that's what good friends do." They never called until someone has broken up with them or some family member has done something to offend them. Never called while they were happy. I have decide that these people suck in because you never can reach them, but they can always reach you. And they are just downers, in general. I had a friend like this once. We no longer speak.

4) The soloist- This is the person who you call sometimes to say hello and they completely dominate the conversation because they have so much to say about themselves. You cannot get a word in edgewise and never get to talk about anything that is going on in your life. And they never ask. Before you know it, 3 hours have passe and you realize, "Hey, you didn't even call me, I called you."

I Have Been Away Too Long I Know...

2009-07-10T05:58:00.000-07:00

Friday is finally here and I am glad this week is over. From the holiday weekend until now, my days have been filled with work drama, family drama and school drama, so I am glad to see this week come to a close. Looking ahead, one of my girlfriends is turning 30 this weekend and she has a birthday brunch planned at the historic Paschal's Restaurant located in the AUC. This is a 60 -year black-owned soul food restaurant whose famous patrons include Martin Luther King, Hosea Williams and Al Gore. Check out the website at www.paschalsatlanta.com. It is a beautiful place that serves southern food (the politically correct equivalent of soul food). This will be my first time dining there and from what I've heard, I'm sure it will be a good experience. Since I have been away from my blog I also managed to squeeze in a short vacation to Las Vegas. It was a great time and I was able to connect with my friend Tee who had just turned 30. We had a blast at his surprise birthday party and he was truly surprised. The Venetian is hands down my favorite casino for many reasons. The shows are good and there are many ways to avoid breaking the back (eating off-strip, monorail passes, free event passes).

How Did I Get Here...

2009-06-11T07:13:00.000-07:00

A part of my growth as an individual over the past several years has been developing my ability to take inventory of a situation and accept the responsibility of my choices. It sounds easy enough until it comes to accepting the negative outcomes of possible wrong turns taken in your life. It is always much easier to point the finger of blame in a direction other than towards oneself. For example, "I made this decision to take this job, I chose to stay in a situation in which I was disrespected, I chose to not stick to this budget, or I chose to enter this relationship (business or personal), ." At least 85% of the things (good or bad) that occur in our lives are a product of the choices we make. A lot of us blame parents, friends, and enemies. In reality no one can live your life for you except you. No matter what anyone does to you, they can only deal with the outcome in their own lives while you are left to make choices to grow from any experience or burden yourself with it. God blesses us with choices in life and the wonderful thing about human beings is that people reveal themselves to us for who they are if we keep our eyes open and focus. Life happens to everyone and everyone has a "they-done-me-wrong" song. If no one has done you wrong or disappointed you, keep living and it will happen. Everyone needs a moment to regroup. The most important thing is how you CHOOSE react to any situation. I realized that I will never learn anything from a situation if I do not ask myself "How did I get here?" When wonderful things happen for us, we are often happy that we made the right choice. When things go badly, it is someone else's fault. This is the cause of bitterness and unhappiness. And bitterness and unhappiness can turn you into a hater. And being a hater never looks good on anyone no matter what outfit you wear with it. Happiness, on the other hand, looks good on everyone. Happiness and contentment in life is something I have to strive for. I don't expect anyone else other than God to give it to me. Often when I tell people that I am content with what I have, they often misinterpret this as me not wanting more in life. I want more, but being content in my life keeps me sane and prevents me from becoming a hater. I am single, but I can be happy for a friend who is getting married. I live in an apartment, but I am happy for that friend who has purchased a home. The reason is because I am content that this is my life right now and I don't have to justify it to anyone. I just pray that God makes me better today than I was yesterday.

Gotta Love It!

2009-06-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

This week's class assignment has been, to say the least, difficult for me, but I will overcome. I have a dentist's appointment after work and then I will have to head to class afterwards. Working full time and being full time student, is no joke. This past Sunday, I took the evening off from both and invited some friends over for some food, music and fun on my back patio. My crab cakes were a hit! So were the wings, but I am most proud of the crab cakes. I hadn't made them in a while. I have made some plans for the weekend to have lunch with some girlfriends that I haven't seen in a few months. We pretty much try to get together every once in a while to abreast abreast of the goings-on in each other's lives. i am also trying to get out on Fruday night for the Montreauz Jazz Film Festival at Studio 281. Studio 281 is a quaint little jazz club located in the artsy Castleberry Hill area.

Hello out there......

2009-05-26T15:30:00.001-07:00

I know it's been a while since I've been in touch and trust me, I have been busy. I have a new accounting professor who insists on 2 papers for class and work has been bustin' my hump. I thought I'd drop in and let you know I'm still alive. I am making plans to attend a friend's surprise birthday party in Vegas. He and his wife live out there and she's planning it. We had a really intense, but productive meeting at work today with management. I have an A in my accounting class so far, so that's good too. I still have a paper I need to work on tonight. I finished my portion of our team assignment yesterday, though. So, I am on a roll. I went out this past weekend with a guy with whom I had broken things off. It explained to me to be a group thing, but it wound up being us with his homegirl and her boyfriend. You guessed it folks, a surprise double date. She was asking questions like, "So how'd you guys meet?" It was then that I realized that he hadn't told her that we were not an item. He ordered my a surprise birthday dessert. My birthday was 2 months ago and although I invited him to my dinner, he was a no-show and made no real formal acknowledgement that it was my birthday. So, needless to say, this gesture was more than a day late and a dollar short. After, we part ways and he leaves for his place, he sends me a text about how he feels that he feels I am using him to pass my time and that he wished that he got more "feeling" from me. He has always had a terrible habit of texting me right after we part ways (literally, I would still be in the parking lot) about things we should discuss face to face. That was a huge turnoff for me. If you're over 30, you should be able to express yourself as an adult. I broke things off almost 2 months ago and we haven't been dating, so I had no idea where this came from. Until, the next morning. I recalled that I was seated next to his friend that evening and I sent a text to my best friend explaining that I had a prior date cancel and was out with this guy. I believe that his friend saw what I was texting because shortly after she went to the restroom and he followed leaving her boyfriend and I at the table for several moments. I know that his homegirl may have violated by reading my text, but I may have done the same for a friend (especially, if felt that something shady was afoot). So, this issue notwithstanding, why would he send me a text like we didn't have a discussion about this before? I think he may be one of the folks that you can't keep as a friend. You know the ones who want more than you are willing to give. I mean, "pass the time"? I have plenty of school and work to "pass the time." So, I think I need to do just that.

Today could be better...

2009-05-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

Today is rainy and not the greatest day at work that I've ever had (long story that I haven't the time nor the energy to tell). I am ready for it to be over and it is not even halfway over. I still have class tonight for 4 hours and I do not feel like like doing it. I want to leave here after work, go home and climb into bed. But, I can't. I am listening to my "Positive Vibes" playlist on imeem. These are songs that promote positivity in my life. The list includes "Strength, Courage and Wisdom" by India Arie, "Closer" by Goapele and others.

Just trying to get through the day.

The Week's News....

2009-05-01T06:18:00.000-07:00

This has been an eventful week for me. I completed my Economics class this past Wednesday. On Tuesday evening I attended a blind wine tasting and won. A blind tasting involves identifying the grape or varietal by taste only with no other identifying traits provided. You taste with a five senses. More points were given if the taster could name the area of origin and the winemaker. I haven't gotten as good as naming the maker, but I was able to identify the grape and region. So, my experience at going to wine tastings are paying off. I won a $25 Whole Foods gift certificate. Not bad for a free tasting. Last night I attended the Italian film festival at the Rialto Center for the Arts. The Rialto is Atlanta's oldest theater initially built in 1916. They have a week long series that shows a different Italian film each night. I am unsure of whether I will attend tonight. I thoroughly enjoyed last night's romantic film "Parlami d'Amore" (Talk to Me About Love). It was a beautifully made film about one man's true love and true fantasy can come in the forms of an older married woman and an unsuspecting childhood friend, respectively. All of the main characters are complicated in a way that saves this movie from being a cheesy run-of-the-mill romance film. I was initially looking to invite someone to attend with me and although it was a romance, it felt right that I went alone. I have always been a fan of foreign films. My high school French teacher always showed foreign movies. Don't remember much of the French, but I sure do remember the films!

Is he with you or are you with him?

2009-04-28T09:28:00.000-07:00

I was able to connect with a sister-friend of mine this past weekend. She has moved back to the Atlanta area almost 2 months ago. I have seen and spoken to her once since then. While hanging out, we spoke about mostly her relationship and she brought up the hardship of being in a committed relationship. She expressed that one of the most difficult things is maintaining your friendships and other personal interests while assuring your man that he is your priority. Although I didn't it, there are many priorities that I feel that this woman should have that is not her man. She needs to pass the Georgia Bar exam and also land a job, but I digress. I have often wondered if relationships have ever presented this challenge to men. Most of the guys that I have dated always find time to hang out with their guys at least once a week. If men are going to do something they do it. If they have made plans with friends for the weekend and you ask about making plans after the fact, they never cancel and you must understand. I never minded this, because I am not a woman for having her man constantly in her face. I know most women are not blessed with this quality. For those who are not, petition God for your heart's desire for a man who is VERY attentative and can give you the level of intimacy you want. But for some reason it's always "harder" for women. If you ask a girlfriend on Thursday if they want to catch a movie on Friday night, they will tell you they have to check with "Charlie" to make sure he doesn't want to do anything. I never understood this. The way I view the situation, if he has not expressed any plans to you on Thursday, then you are not doing anything on Friday night and you are therefore free to make plans. Call me crazy. I have one friend who loved her church, but not enough to keep her from abandoning it for 3 years because she was with her boyfriend. Fortunately, she has been able to recommit to her church after they broke up. The aforementioned friend sought to remain celibate until marriage and expressed that she was looking to strengthen her Christian walk. I think that anything that makes you the next that you can be is great. The only thing is: she is only celibate until she meets another guy who could be "The One". She currently lives with her boyfriend after adamantly expressing that she doesn't want to cohabitate he insisted that they live together. She said that he feels that she is the one and they have chosen an engagement ring, but yet he is making plans to leave the state within the next year because he hates Atlanta. And no, he has not proposed. A few weeks ago we were invited to another girlfriend's church because she was performing a dance for her Pastor's anniversary. She was supposed to show up as of that morning, but never showed. Her excuse to me Saturday was that her boyfriend loves their current church so much and she didn't want to ask him to come to our friend's performance and leave the church that he loves. This was a complete crock. One Sunday, you couldn't come to see your friend that you've known for 10 years! Yes, I know that she is deluding herself, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her. She expressed some things that let me know that it is occurring to her. So, I know that she'll come around. Hopefully, sooner rather than later.

This brings me to my next point. My high school choir director (who is an evangelist) who would always tell us "Obedience is better than sacrifice". She would constantly tell us this when we were being wayward or not fulfilling our obligations to the chorus. I never fully understood what this meant until I was older. This quote comes from the scriptural passage Isaiah 1:1-11. It discussed how the people of Israel found themselves in tremendous turmoil and pain which was a result of their won doings. They had turned away from God, but offered burnt sacrifices and fatted animals. The questions posed by God at this point was basically "What good are your sacrifices, if you disobey Me?" The sacrifice is the outward showing of respect, but the hard part is obedience because it is an effort left to the human conscience. Amen to that for me too. My friend has indeed sacrificed much for the sake of her lover (no ring, no real sign of commitment), but although she states that she wants an upright Christian man, she admits that she is disobedient and has reconciled this and asks for His favor. As far as I can tell, she is doing everything that you should NOT do for a woman obviously on the fast track to the alter. This is definitely not the way the game is played. Sticking to your guns (your desires and beliefs) is the only way to play it. I mean people who get married are basically those who find themselves on the same page at the same time. I mean, who are you if you have know idea of what you stand for. God does give us the tools and insight to win at life. Ask yourself, girl," Am I with him or is he with me?" Now, ask yourself this question " Am I with Him? Because for all of my faults and shortcomings, He is always with me."Obedience is better that sacrifice, indeed.

"Do you really wanna win or just look good losing"

- Little Brother

An Eventful Weekend......

2009-04-27T08:16:00.001-07:00

This weekend was an eventful one. I realize that I need to try a new brand of shoes for my power walking because they are leaving my feet sore. I went dancing Friday night with friends at DJ Kemit's Spreadlove: Soul Brothers event. I danced all night to some great house mixes with Al Green, James Brown, Teddy P and Luther Vandross. He even played a little Latin and Fela Kuti music. I was preparing to soak my aching soles the next morning after my walk when I realized my new neighbors dog "did his business" all over their patio which is adjacent to mine. It was 80 degrees and the smell was terrible. I had noticed that I had never seen them walking their dog since they had been living there. Aside from the dog's crying because they put him outside in stormy weather, this "situation" has become a bane to my existence. I immediately called my new property manager and made her aware of the situation. Thus far, everything is back to normal. However, it would have been nice to enjoy my new patio set for the first time. this past weekend. I also caught up with a girlfriend I hadn't seen in a while and we attended the Inman Park Festival. It was a large festival and drew a huge crowd. The array of musical acts was entertaining also. They ranged from jazz to bluegrass to Indian music. So, now I have officially began my festival-hopping season.

Finally.....

2009-04-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

I finally received some grades from my professor and my current grade is a B+. It really could have been an A and he could have submitted our grades earlier than a week before class ends. I had a small confrontation with him during class about this. No matter, it will be reflected in my end-of-course student survey. I will try to get a little cardio in today. The forecast predicts rain, so hopefully, I will be able to walk today. Tomorrow night I will be attending a new event called Spreadlove "The Soul Brothers Edition". Its supposed to be giving a mix of Teddy P (as in Pendergrass), Luther, Marvin and other soul greats. We will see.

Harmony In Life

2009-04-20T09:46:00.000-07:00

The highlight of this past weekend was attending a Harmony In Life concert at Sugarhill featuring N'Dambi and Eric Roberson. Roberson is a poet of a singer and a true credit to the songwriting game. He loves to engage the crowd and has a beautiful and sexy voice. He performed "Softest Lips: with a little bit of Prince's "Adore" mixed in and everyone went crazy. If you don't know about this dude, you should check him out. He has written songs for Musiq, Dwele, Jill Scott and more. He was an integral part of the Neo Soul scene when it popped off. I had the pleasure of seeing an well-known on the local scene artist, Ronda Thomas. She has a great voice and wonderful energy and she looks like she's actually having fun onstage. N'Dambi did her thing. I enjoyed the concert overall, but the venue is always sooooo hot! I know they make plenty of money having these concerts all the time, so they need to invest in some real A/C.

It's Friday and I Just Got Paid....

2009-04-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

I am glad the week is over. It has been long and exhausting. Last night I found that my laptop has a virus, so I have to figure that one out. Apparently, my keyboard does not work once I log on, but the mouse does. I don't know. I just spoke to my co-worker and her husband is a computer guy and he'll look at it for free. Thank God! Hopefully, it's something simple, because I have become completely reliant on my laptop for school work. I have prepare here at work by printing out all of my reading material for my assignment and completing and submitting a portion of next week's assignment. Only 2 more classes to go.

Better Person Initiative: The Recessionista

2009-04-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's experimental pizza recipe went over quite well and it was yummy. The meeting was informative and gave me more insight concerning my future with my current employer. It allowed me to gauge the direction of my career as it pertains to my current studies. Yesterday was a full day that left me exhausted. I have a date this evening. After work I plan to ease back into my cardio workout routine since all of the muscle soreness in my arms have left me. Onto to other things, I have decided to revisit the Better Person Initiative,

Tips for the Recessionista:

1) Buy food staples that have gotten cheaper in recent times (i.e eggs, cereal) and prepare your meals at home as prices at restaurants have risen.

2) Shop consignment. If the Goodwill thrift is not your cup of tea, try shopping at high-end consignment where you can find gently worn vintage and designer pieces. Also, lots of those consignment shops pay money for gently worn name-brand or vintage clothing, so rather than throwing or giving it away.....

3) Collect on rebates from purchases that are made. I recently purchased a digital camera and new laptop computer and both had combined mail-in rebates upwards of $100 and I ended up getting my printer free.

4) Hit the farmer's market. Instead of paying $2.49 for Romaine Lettuce or $3-$4 for salad kits, buy Romaine Lettuce by the head for $0.89 and chop it up yourself. Also, try Latino/Spanish or Asian markets. Veggies are staples of their diets and you will find great deals on healthy veggies such as leeks, bok choy, Plantains, tomatoes and cilantro. You will find a great selection of fresh herbs also.

5) Look for grocery store closeouts. I am a firm believer in buying non-perishable items that are marked down due to product discontinuation. Just be sure to check expiration dates. Some perishable items are fine if you find yourself in the right place at the right time because some stores are notorious for over-stocking items that they had predicted would sell well.

6) Hunt down bargain flights. Try www.farecast.com or www.airfarewatchdog.com to track fare sales for flights.

7) Hit your local library for DVD and music rentals. The movies they carry are not all PBS specials and Sesame street movies. My local library carries all of the latest blockbuster releases and I happily request and wait until it is delivered to the branch nearest me. They are free, lots of places allow you to rent unlimited media pieces and you get to keep it for 7 days.

8) Take advantage of partnerships or discounts that your job offers such as discounts on gym memberships, hotels and clothing stores. I have been employed places where I am able to get discounts on my rent.

9) If you are in the market for a home that you will be in for the next 5 years or so and your credit is there, purchase a home. Hold off on new home furnishings as prices in that industry are up from just a year ago. Try furniture on consignment!

10) Stay in the know for free concerts and shows in your area. Not being able to spend a lot of money doesn't mean that every night is a blockbuster night. If you live in a large city, free entertainment is easy to come by on a weekly basis from music to movies. You just have to know where to find it. Now that spring is here, there will be lots of outdoor concerts. You can pack a picnic lunch and buy a bottle of wine and hang out and enjoy the scenery.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.....

2009-04-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

No rain today and it is a beautiful looking day. A lot of pollen and a lot of folks allergies are flaring up, but I have been blessed to not have terrible allergies. The wine tasting was great last night. They tasted about 7 or 8 wines. It is a nationwide initiative, so they had these nifty cards made up that listed the wine characteristics and the foods they paired well with. The next tasting will be blind and Ceteka will be offering prizes. All of the wines are on sale and reasonably-priced. They had an amazing Malbec by Santa Julia. Very prevalent chocolate notes in the nose of this one. You could taste the berry and toasty spices. The standout among the whites was the Crios Torrontes. I had never come to expect great things in a Torrontes, but this one was really good. Really, light, crisp with floral hints and honeydew melon. Great white for spring/summer. Met another interesting guy there, but we'll talk about that later. I am going home for lunch today and will be attempting a new quickie recipe. I will be attempting to make white pizza with grilled chicken. It should be pretty good. Will let you know how that one turns out. Today will be pretty full because I have to work and then head over to the Buckhead office for a meeting and hall ass to class afterwords. I have contacted my professor to let him know that I will be very tardy since class starts at 6pm and my meeting is from 6-8pm. I am making pretty good headway on my paper and my goal is to have it completed by the end of my work day and ready to submit tonight.

Weekender....

2009-04-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was...interesting, for many reasons. It began nicely as I was able to catch up with friends I hadn't hung out with in a while. So, Friday night was pretty low key as we chatted, drank a little wine and listened to Cannonball Adderly, Charlie Parker and the Thomas Chapin Trio. I attended the Rawsoul event that a friend invited me to on Saturday evening at Cenci. Cenci is a vegetarian restaurant that has amazing art and the Rawsoul event boasted even more amazing DJs. Upstairs they played old school reggae and hip hop and downstairs deep house was playing. I believe I may have been the only person in attendance that wasn't from Chicago, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I let the music consume me and danced for a couple hours straight. I had a great time and burned several unneeded calories that I had consumed that day. I went for my walk early Sunday afternoon and got hit by a car that attempted to make a right turn on a red light at an intersection. I don't know if it was him hitting more so than I was hood-surfing. All I could do was hang onto the right side of the hood so that I wouldn't hit the asphalt. he had not real speed so when he stopped, I landed on my feet. The driver got out of the car to ensure that I was okay. Not a scratch, but my biceps are sore (I guess from holding on to the hood). maybe I missed my calling as a stunt woman or something because the whole thing felt very Starsky and Hutch. I went on a date on Sunday evening with someone new and it was nice and interesting. We have a second date to a concert on Saturday night. It wouldn't be bad since I am a fan of the artists performing.

Stormy Weather......

2009-04-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a beautiful sunny day in the mid-70's. Today it is a rainy and chilly with a chance of hail?! I guess it a good thing, since Georgia has been in a drought. Sometimes this can put a damper on plans, if one is not clever enough. With school, I have been so out of the loop, with my events. I am planning to try out a new one this weekend. Last week's Members Only event at Bazaar left a little to be desired. Great concept behind the event and the weather was not cooperative. They validate parking at the public garage across the street as stated, but only for 1 hour (which was not stated). So, I ended up paying $5 anyway, when I could have parked on the street for free. The drinks were free for ladies as stated, though. We had some eccentric European server whose attitude left a lot to be desired. The food was good though (Buffalo-style duck wings, who'da thunk it?). I have a good feeling about Saturday's event at Cenci. I have never been to Cenci, but it seems like a nice venue. We'll see.

Another Day in Paradise....

2009-04-02T12:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's forecast predicted that the rainy weather was to clear up today. When I woke up at 2am this morning to thundering and lightening, I knew that this was another less-than-accurate prediction. It has been storming all day today and it would be the perfect day to spend in bed curled up with a book drifting in and out of sleep. But here I am at work. I am glad the week is nearly over. Tonight, I am planning to meet friends to hit a new event called Members Only at a place called Bazaar. It's located near the Fox Theatre and I have never been to this spot before. The atmosphere seems nice, judging by the photos. I may not even make it, if the weather does not cooperate by then.

It's April, but I'm Nobody's Fool!

2009-04-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

Today is April Fool's Day and true to the month's form it is raining to bring us May flowers, I guess. Why is the birthstone for the month of April the diamond? If we all can't get a super-valuable stone, I say don't give anyone the diamond. Instead, the rest of us get lesser, obscure or unattractive stones likes garnet, peridot or opal? But, I digress. I have class tonight and my professor still hasn't posted our grades for last week's assignment. I guess he's one of those professors who stick to deadlines when receiving assignments, but take their sweet time grading them types of professors. But I digress to move on to a topic I have been dying to find the time to write about. I was having a conversation a few weeks ago with my girlfriend. She has been talking about this guy-friend that she has become acquainted with through their sons' play dates. She has found herself to be attracted to him, but he has expressed to her that he's not attracted to her but thinks of her as a great friend. She has been obsessing about this guy to me for months. He has also disclosed to her that he only likes and will date thin/slender women. My friend has fuller figure. I have explained to her that she avoid that conversation as it is dangerous territory. Men are shallow and the physical matters to them greatly. I have no idea why God made them that way but they are. Everyone has a different view of what beauty is. A lot of men won't date me because I am light-skinned, have natural/nappy hair or don't have a large behind. I figure that they like what they like and who am I to tell them otherwise. My friend has not taken this stance on her situation. My advice to her was to either accept it for what it is and remain friends or if she cannot bear the fact that he doesn't want more with her to start limiting contact. I have noticed this taking a toll on her self-esteem as she goes on these rants about how "no one wants the big girl" or "big girls get no love." I have known my friend for about 8 years and she has never, ever had a problem getting dates. She is a wonderful and beautiful person who has a lot going for her. Why does rejection from or not being the ideal for one person cancel out all of the good feelings she should have or has had about herself. She has even put herself in a position to try to "reprogram" his pattern of thinking by making the case for dating/loving women who are not his physical ideal. This is where we often go wrong. A man wants what he wants and if what he wants is you, he will do what he can to have you. Why place yourself in a position to where you have to sell your yourself to guy? (Pitch: "Hey, I know I'm not the candidate you want, but give me a shot and I won't let you down.") Best case scenario: Say that you snag this hard-to-get guy whom he could never see himself being with. Will it make you feel better about yourself? If it does, your self-esteem may be to fragile if you need one guy to believe that you can feel better about yourself. Or you could spend most of your time in doubt about yourself, worried that while strolling through the mall, he has a skinny-girl relapse. Although, we, as females, also have men who we feel would be physically ideal ( for me 6'4", 220 lbs, athletically-built, my-kind-of-handsome), we often do not consider these to be deal-breakers. We will sacrifice a few inches in height for what he makes up in personality and humor. We will sacrifice a few extra pounds if he is kind and intelligent. We've more often seen stunning, stylish women with men and wonder "How did he get a woman like that?" It's simple: Here's a woman who decided for whatever reason (love, money, personality) that looks were not a deal breaker. Men most often want the complete package and they do not believe that they deserve less. Compromising in their eyes is considered to be synonymous with settling. I totally respect the guys who have "types". If I LOOK at myself or a lot of other women I know, I would not be able to pinpoint a specific type, because we will run the gamut of guys trying to uncover a "diamond in the rough". If a man prefers white women, you will only see him with white women. If he prefers slender, full-figured or light-skinned women, rest assured you will only see him with those types of women. If a guy starts rattling off a list of traits to me that I do not, cannot or am not willing to possess, they are usually not getting another phone call or date from me. I mean, if a divorced, father of one, degree-less sous chef can tell me how picky HE is, look me squarely in the eye and tell me that his ideal is "Claire Huxtable with a dash of Whitley from 'A Different World' thrown in", where does that leave the rest of us?

What's new....

2009-03-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

Lots has happened since we last spoke. I have regularly been dating someone for a couple of months whom I have made no real connection with. I feel that I have given things sufficient time to decide whether we are compatible or not. I am not speaking of falling head over heels in love, because I am to old to continue to follow the Hollywood idea of romance, but of long-term compatibility. I have realized that I may be more compatible with what he really wants than the things that I was looking for. I do not want someone who has a profession that takes up far too much time. The profession that he wishes to pursue may not allow for time for nice long vacations or even dinners. I need someone who can keep a set schedule that is conducive to my own. Even though there is stability, I have still managed to become bored. I would like someone who has stability but not monotony. This realization has been gnawing at me for the past few weeks, but I think today that I have the gumption to be completely honest with him and tell him, "I think you're really swell, but....." I really think that I should continue dating other people. I mean, this guy is someone's catch and I would only be standing in her way (I plan to use a variation of this line and I think it's pretty good). In good news, I managed to escape my last course with a B. I am now moving into my 2nd Economics class this week and we have a team project due. I am still working on my part.

I'm 30 today!

2009-03-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

Today marks my 30th year on this earth. I am really excited about this birthday and the changes in my life. Last year I spent my 29th birthday alone or rather in solitude. I wasn't exactly happy last year as I am this year, but my solitude last year was a moment of reflection of my life up to that point and looking ahead to the changes I wanted in my life and just how exactly those changes would take place. I am still single this year, but sort of actively dating and I am cool with where I am. My schedule is hectic with school and work (thank God for the latter in these difficult times). I am not quite where I would like to be, but I am in a more mature, more self-aware and more peaceful place. I have the support of those in my life that I am happiest with and enrich my life in many ways even if the number has dwindled (not that I have ever been one to rack up numbers). People in westernized civilization often say that life is short (usually when making irrational decisions), but if it is the will of God, life can be long. So, having a view of the bigger picture or grander scheme is essential to self-preservation. There were times in my life that not only could I not see my way, but was just trying to get through the day. Asking God for clarity has helped me to see life more clearly as my more focused self than I was a year ago.

Goings on......

2009-03-09T17:46:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, I completed this week's assignment, removed my micro braids from my hair and my natural is coming along nicely. Today, I put the finishing touches on my e-vite because I want to connect with my friends and have a nice dinner for my birthday on Friday night, at least. I found a reasonably-priced restaurant in Buckhead. It has I managed to salvage one of my rainchecked dates on Sunday evening after wrestling with my hair. I went to a sushi event a Silk Restaurant and they had an awesome live band. It was great to get away for a few hours, relax, eat a lil sushi and drink a lil wine. One of my team members has dropped from the class and now we are a team of two. The class is really working together on these last two assignments. I did well on last week's assignment (100%) and pulled my grade up to a B-. Just 2 more classes. The next course is econ, so it should be easier than this one, prayerfully.

My Birthday Month Has Begun...

2009-03-02T15:26:00.000-08:00

I am really excited about my big 3-0, but may not be able to celebrate in the fashion that I really want because of this hectic class and work schedule. I am going to throw myself into this week's assignment when I am done with this post. Other developments include not having received my student loan refund check (what's the hold up?), my home Internet is not cooperating and one of the guys I am dating asked me to "go steady" albeit via text message after we had dinner last night. I really feel like I need more time. I like him and he's...... well, nice. But I don't know that I could stop shopping around for this guy. I am not sure that there's anyone out there who's that great for me right now or maybe I am getting older and cynicism has definitely taken hold of me.

I really feel like I'm in an MBA program now.....

2009-02-24T09:51:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this latest MBA course is really taking the stick to me. I managed to get a B on my second assignment. I won't discuss the grade on the first one. Let's just say the overall performance of the class warranted a tongue lashing via e-mail from our professor. he is also not one of my favorites. But I press on. I have barely been able to come up for air between work and school and my dating life is starting to pick up, but who has time for that? I have so many "rainchecked" dates under my belt right now. I just decided to take a few minutes to vent and connect.

Correction!

2009-02-13T12:08:00.001-08:00

I have a correction to make on my last post. I stated that my grade from my previous class was a B+, but I looked online to review my report card and it is, in fact, an A! I feel really good about that one and definitely a little more comfortable because I don't know how this current course will turn out. But I shall continue to do like Lee Nails and press on. I am ready for the work day to end. I feel that today is a good day to resume my exercise regimen as my back and neck are feeling up to par. So I'll be back in the saddle. I have been having a pretty active dating life these days and why on these first dates guy are talking about marriage and the typical marriage. I went on a date last night and the guy said that he is looking for the "a modern day Claire Huxtable". he actually said that. I was incredulous. I mean, really dude, Claire Huxtable? She is a fictitious character. She isn't even real and he's a divorced, sous chef father of one. How the hell does this guy think that he can achieve a Claire Huxtable? Speak it into existence I guess. I think it's my age. Something about women who are 30 (which I'll be next month and I am so excited!) who are unwed tends to make men think that if they mention the word "marriage" that you will spontaneously combust with joy and gratitude. That's my theory at least. I know that there are women who are trying to sprint to the alter be it with Mr. Right or Wrong. I believe I would like to get married "someday" but if I don't, it wouldn't be the end of the world. In the meantime, I will keep living life and sometimes keep trudging through the dating pool life.

Sorry, but it's been a while......

2009-02-10T16:09:00.000-08:00

I begin a new class tomorrow (it's math stuff, so keep me in your prayers). The last professor I had was a beast, but I made it through his class with a B +. I am hanging in there. I have also been in pain from albor intensive tasks performed at work. The things you gotta do to try to hold on to your job. I thought I would have more time to blog now that I have a computer, but this is not so, because I have been up late trying to complete assignments or coming home too tired to get onto a computer. Tomorrow evening is court for a ticket I received in Inauguration Day when I was off work, but going into my office to tie up a few loose ends after viewing the festivities at the Atlanta Civic Center. It was freezing cold that day and I lost my MP3 player. I secured a new one this weekend because the local Family Dollar had coupons for $5 off in the sale paper. I rented the movie Iron Man from the library and it was really good. I would be willing to see part 2 even though Terrance Howard has been replaced I still like Don Cheadle as an actor.

Look into your heart.......

2009-01-22T06:12:00.000-08:00

I recently rented the movie Sparkle from my local library. I have loved it since I was a teen when I first saw it. I really out to check out Amazon and invest in the DVD because it also comes with the soundtrack. The entire soundtrack was performed by Aretha Franklin with music written by Curtis Mayfield. I have always loved the song "Look Into Your Heart". This song was sung in the movie by Irene Cara's 'Sparkle' character along with Phillip Michael Thomas's 'Stix' character (he was too cute) and later a remake was done by Whitney Houston's 'Crack-is-wack' character. I digress. It wasn't so much the song but the lyrics that I find to be motivational and inspiring. The lyrics tell us to look positively inside of ourselves, taking self-inventory and putting negativity behind us to move ahead. They don't make 'em like this anymore:

If you look into your heart
With a positive mind
Take some inventory
of your woman and your glory
Leave the bad things behind

Everybody's got a story {yes they do}
About love and the good things
But all the spices of your life
You just got to pay the price
If you know what I mean

I'm telling everybody
I know how a girl becomes so proud
When I finally found there was nothing left
I said I do believe I found myself .....

Excerpt from the song "Look Into Your Heart" from the motion picture soundtrack "Sparkle"
by Curtis Mayfield

Still Riding a Wave of Emotion.......

2009-01-21T07:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a great day indeed. I was able to go to Atlanta Civic Center to catch the inauguration ceremony. The packed auditorium cheered loudly whenever Obama's (Michelle, Barack or Sasha and Malia) image was on the screen. They cheered again when former President and Georgia native Jimmy Carter's image showed on the screen. And they cheered again when civil rights icon and co-founder along w/Dr. King of the SCLC, Rev Joseph Lowery took the stage for a rousing benediction. I did not have MLK day off and I took the day off to observe the historical moment with fellow Obama supporters. I got stopped by a cop who gave me a ticket, but that couldn't kill my joy. Today, I am back in class and my assignments are done, so I don't have that to worry about.

Single Life: Enjoy it before it's gone......

2009-01-16T07:10:00.000-08:00

Those of us who are singletons in the 25-35 age bracket are often made to feel that if you're single past the age of 25 there is nothing left for us to do but sulk about the fact that we are STILL single (because you know that's how other folk say it " So, are you STILL single?"). But i say that you need to enjoy this time because once these days are gone, they are gone. This especially applies to those who wish to marry and have families one day. These are things that you should indulge in before you get booed up:

1) Go on a trip somewhere you've never been before. Alone. With the state of the current economy, you may not be able to afford that safari in Africa that you've always longed for, but a short overnight trip to a beach town like St. Augustine, FL or go vineyard hopping through your local wine country in Dahlonega, GA. do it alone because this may be your last moments of solitude to just be with your thoughts and it also makes you open to meeting new strangers.

2) Live alone. As in alone without a roommate or parents. This gives you a feeling of independence like little else. You can kick your shoes off at the door and leave them there for days if you want and no one can say anything to you. You can walk around in your undies or nothing if you'd like. You can watch whatever you want on TV without having to play couch commando for the remote. You can decorate your place any way that you want (your man might think that your girly bedazzled picture frames or pink bed set does not define your taste as a couple). You can put your two-cup coffee maker in the bathroom because when you are in a hurry getting ready for work, most of your preparation takes place in the bathroom (hair, makeup, showering, shaving etc.)

3) Spend more time with your family. This may be more difficult once you have one of your own to take care of.

4) Go on a trip with your girls/guys. Yes, invite your married ones too, even they need a break from the old ball & chain (imagine if we addressed THEM like that each time we saw them :How are you? And how's the old ball & chain? Are you STILL married?). As I stated earlier, the economy is not great right now, so even if it is at a budget motel out of town eating Cheezits and listening to nostalgic music.

5) Go to the movies alone. I prefer matinees and avoiding the madness of date night. You can take your own junk food and you don't have to share or eat the candy that he chose that you don't even like. (I never really understood why the movies is even a first, second or third date option. Nowadays, with guys, its either dinner OR a movie. Never both. Just go for the dinner. You can actually see each other. How are you going to get to know anyone in a dark movie theater full of strangers. You can't even talk during a movie. Then, you've spent 2+ hours not talking when you could have been getting to know someone). Getting back on track and off my rant........

6) Be a little vain. Get in the best shape of your life. You will not always have time to hit the gym once you are married and definitely once the kids roll in (childbearing can be particularly unforgiving on the black woman's body). When you look back at least you can tell your grandchildren "See how hot granny was!"

7) Date more than one guy at once. I mean the 1950's definition of dating (dinner, conversation, art shows, museum walks in the park etc.) not the new millennium version (sex, greasy Chinese and blockbuster at his place). Having just graduated from the nice girls only date one guy at a time school of thought, I have learned that it is best to play the averages until you find someone you really like.

I will share more points with you as time goes on because us single folk have to stick together and be convinced that be single is definitely not the worst thing in the world. Also, I have a date tonight. For some reason, I strongly feel that he is going to suggest a movie.........

I am glad that yesterday is gone........

2009-01-15T05:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a crazy day! First, I had to pick up my car from the dealership on my lunch break because my key was ready. It was a crazy day at work and my learning team from school had not completed their portions of our presentation (which we had due yesterday during class) and wanted to meet early at campus. Their portions of the presentation was needed in order for us to complete our individual assignments. So I had to leave work, go straight to campus and work on the Power Point presentation. I went ahead and completed the weekly team log before I got there. We did well on our presentation, but then after 4 hours in class, I had to go home and do a 5-page paper, complete with a reference page. There are 3 more classes to go and next class I don't think that I will work this team because they believe in waiting until the the day before or the day of class to complete their work. We actually didn't hear from one group member until she showed up for class. The other MIA member e-mailed his information the morning of class. I was up until well past midnight (my paper was due to 2am) and am mentally exhausted this morning. I received a text from my supervisor that she wouldn't be in today. Hopefully, this doesn't mean too much more work because my auctions run today.

I've had better weekends........

2009-01-12T05:44:00.000-08:00

This past weekend, the keys to my life were stolen. Okay, here's what happened. I went out to a restaurant and I didn't take my purse with me inside because as soon as I got out of my car, the strap to my most reliable purse broke (maybe I should have went back home then). I was alone so I ordered at the bar (tables are apparently are not desired for singletons). the bar was crowded and I sat my keys down and apparently someone picked up my keys and left with them. So I had no keys for my car or apartment. I was able to get my car towed back to my house Sunday morning around 5am. Saturday was miserable because my car was all the way downtown Atlanta and parked on the street for a full 24 hours by itself. By that morning there were cars parked in front of and behind me, so a tow truck couldn't get in to get my car until there was no one parked on the street in front of me. I got up and 4am Sunday to call roadside assistance to get my car. Now I am in the process of getting the car towed from my house to the dealership to get a new key made. I have called the restaurant to see if someone has returned my keys. All to no avail. I was fortunate enough to have a guy I met to take me around all day Saturday and get into my car to get my purse and cell phone out of the trunk. I also had a sisterfriend who took me around yesterday to get a copy of my apartment key made. I was able to rest easier knowing that my car is at my house. So, the saga continues................

Better Person Initiative '09: Be a Cheerleader......

2009-01-08T06:10:00.000-08:00

Challenge: Be a cheerleader to someone other than yourself.

If you have a good friend to has expressed a personal desire to succeed at something positive and they just need a little push, do it. Especially, if you know that they are capable of success. It's even better if it's something that you have found success in. For example, I have successfully lost 15 lbs. If you have a friend who desires to lose a few lbs and complain about not fitting into their clothes, give them tips to help them succeed if they are not completely sure how to. We are in a recession, who wants to shop for a whole new wardrobe? Do not be afraid to help out your sister-friends (black women can be brutal). My take is that if everyone in my circle is me is smarter, kinder or more beautiful than me, then I am doing well. I know sisters who will not give out the haridresser's information because they want them all to themselves. As if their hairdresser is not in business to be in business. The same goes for clothing. How many times have you asked a sister where they got an outfit and they claim that they bought in Timbuktu 10 years ago? Stop being selfish and allow someone's hair to look as good as your's. Allow someone to emulate your sense of style. It's flattery. It was like pulling teeth getting a decent referral to a good hairdresser. I still don't have one. Thank God I have braids and natural hair. I digress. We all know what it's like to want to have someone who's in our corner to support us and cheer us on and then not have that support. Yes, as the song states, "What God has for me it is for me" is true and if it is meant to be yours then regardless of what may come or go, you will have it. But don't automatically take on the attitude that you don't care how someone else gets their's if you know that you are able to lend a helping hand. God places people in our lives who can help and encourage us and he places us in the same situations. Perhaps even to test us to see if we handle the successes and triumphs of others over our own.

Ticked Off!

2009-01-07T09:48:00.001-08:00

I am really glad that I have this blog in which I voice my concerns. My MIA group member has not, in fact, dropped the course and he posts his work on the virtual classroom this morning because I was in the classroom last night well past midnight working on a second paper that is due. He sends a message apologizing for the delay because HE was on vacation. What! Big deal! It's great that YOU get to be on vacation as if you don't have the same class that we do. He knew that we had an assignment due and I had attempted to contact him in the virtual classroom and on his e-mail. this means that he didn't even attempt to check our virtual classroom for all of our updates. I was so mad that this very blog entry may have ended up on our learning team's virtual classroom thread. This is unacceptable, because I completed my paper last night and now I have to work on it today, because he was late in submitting the information that we needed to write our individual papers. I had already done Plagiarism Checker AND Writepoint. I was thisclose to hopping out on our virtual classroom thread, but God is still working on my patience, because although, I have gotten better, I have always admitted it is not one of my virtues. We have until 2 am of the day of class to complete this paper, but I consider MY paper to be LATE if I am turning in it the day of or still trying to complete it the day of, because I DO NOT go home to complete papers after class. Class is tonight, is 4 hours long and doesn't end until 10pm. I am not pleased!

Ready or not......

2009-01-06T10:01:00.000-08:00

This paper is killing me. I really want to be done with it. I have sent my professor a message and he has yet to respond. I know, I only sent it this morning, but really, it's already after lunch. I'm not too sure about the direction he wants this thing to take, but I am almost done with it so, I need to know if I have major adjustments to make. Anyhow, I am at work trying to work on it some more and put some fire under my team members. They have come trought so far, but the lone male in our group seems to be MIA. Noone has heard from him since before we went on our winter break. He hasn't been online to the virtual classroom or anything. Maybe he has dropped the course. I don't know. But we forge ahead. Everyone else keeps in touch pretty well.

Hair is now the least of my concerns.......

2009-01-05T07:20:00.000-08:00

This weekend I accomplished the mission of having my hair braided. I love them and the fact that I have a break from dealing with my hair and give it a chance to really grow. The plan is to keep the braids for a couple of months and then on to something else. It felt great to get up this morning and not have to deal with my hair. I have gotten a lot of compliments and the day I got my hair done, I was asked on a couple of dates. Not entertaining those, though. My dating life has pretty much been on the shelf lately, especially since I am back in school. I had resigned myself to going back on strike and not entertaining any offers since I am in school and most of the men I meet seem to want to waste my time. Maybe that will change, but for right now, nothing worthwhile has materialized. Every guy I meet is so.......ordinary which equals......boring. How many dinner and a movie fiascoes must one be subjected to? Is it too much to hope for a small spark when I meet new guys anymore? I never spark with anyone anymore. Maybe, I have become too cynical. Where did all of the smart, funny, witty and charming guys with decent manners go? Has that make and model has been discontinued? I digress. Still recovering from the holidays and trying to get back into the groove with school and still struggling to get some internet. I have a paper due that I haven't quite gotten started on. I will get started on that today, though.

New Year, New Things.....

2009-01-02T11:39:00.000-08:00

Well, we have officially entered a new year. I know a lot of us were glad to bid adeiu to 2008 with all of its ups and a lot of serious downs. But we are blessed to have made it into a new year because many of us have not. I have lots on the agenda to try for the new year as well as staying in school (classes resume next week!). I am at work today without much to do, because most folks are off from work. It is also raining, so I will not be walking today. Probably do a little Pilates or something. My goal for today is find the place to go to get my hair braided, so that I will have a break in messing around with it for a few months. At least, that's the plan anyway.

December Fools' Day......

2008-12-31T06:05:00.000-08:00

I am back at work today. It is about time for me to also get back into the swing of things with school as classes resume next Wednesday. The break was great while it lasted, but it's time to get back down to business. On my way. Other than this, there is another pressing matter I'd like to discuss. Last week a friend, or should I say acquaintance, ask a favor of me. This is fine. There is nothing wrong with favors, but this favor required me to take a considerable amount of risk. An amount of risk that one should only take for a most dear friend or your mother. A considerable amount of risk that if things went badly I could lose my job sort of request. The request was sent to me via text message! This is a likable person at best and we are only acquaintances who speak to each other when they can find the time. A may be a fool of the ordinary variety at times (who isn't?), but I am not anyone's special kind of fool. I dodged the bullet with that one by being out of town over the holiday. These are people who need to go sit down somewhere too. The folks who believe that they can exhaust all sorts of favors from you because you are their personal fool especially engineered and designed just for them and their personal use. Like a garden gnome or something. I have decided that such people are completely bonkers!

I'm back....but not really...

2008-12-29T06:57:00.001-08:00

I am now back from my SC Christmas vacation. It was a peaceful and overall enjoyable vacation. Today, I am not feeling so great and am planning to leave work a little early today and go home and lay down. I am in so much pain I can't even focus. The weather was pretty nice in SC as it was not cold at all and of course if anything, it was quiet. One of the things my Dad got me was a Chicago Cubs throw. i guess on can never have too many throws (he has already gotten me four). I also got a new blender. It's even better than the last one that I had with all the great bells and whistles. My new laptop was delivered an hour before I got on the road home. it works pretty great although I was only able to watch DVDs on it all weekend because there is no Internet at home. So, the next order of business is to procure some Internet service (none of my neighbors got caught slippin' on the wi-fi tip:-).I am going to get all of my work done and bounce by noon.

Working on Christmas Eve......

2008-12-24T06:46:00.000-08:00

Today, the manager at my office came in and told us that we can leave at noon. Yippee! I have so much to do anyway and need the extra time. The last thing to cook is the rice today for the Hop 'N John and I will be good to go. I got most of my packing done last night. Apparently there an attempt by FedEx to deliver my computer and I was not at home. They always deliver during regular business hours which I work. So, after being on the phone with FedEx last night and this morning for help to no avail, I am glad that I am getting off work early so my chances are greater for actually being home to sign for my package. When I placed my order, they told me that I wouldn't receive my computer until after Christmas. So, now that i know it's here, I'm super anxious about it. My favorite local sandwich shop is giving out free food for lunch today, so I will roll down there briefly. I will attempt to get on the road and get to SC this evening. Hopefully, the roads will not be too bad.

Have a safe and Merry Christmas!

Revisiting the Better Person Initiative....

2008-12-23T05:54:00.000-08:00

As the year draws to a close, it is time to evaluate my progress on my Better Person Initiative journey. I have realized a very important fact: it is a process. You have to strive everyday to become better than you were the day before. At least, that is my daily prayer. I am still going strong in my pursuit of my Master's degree. I have reconnected with good and positive friends that I lost contact with and make points to connect with these people regularly just to enjoy each other's company or to communicate what is going on in each other's lives. I try to speak with family members more often and limited contact with those people who are negative or are looking to bring drama to my life. Even when they try, it is becoming increasingly easier filter out all the foolishness when they are trying to feed it you. So, like a duck to water, it begins to not bother me either way. I have realized that foolishness has many different avenues in making its way into my life, so it no longer sneaks up and surprises me. It may confuse me (as in, "What is wrong with this fool?!"), but does not surprise me. As Iyanla Vanzant has said, "When someone reveals themselves to you for who they really are, believe them." This year was not one of my easiest years, but I can definitely say I am better right now than I was this time last year. The events of the prior years had all but broken my spirit and destroyed my resolve. God was not only the answer for me, but also the question. Not that I question His work, but whether He hears or is even on speaking terms with me. He has brought me back to life from a time when I felt I was sinking in my disappointments and shortcomings.

Let me be patient
let me be kind
Make me unselfish
without being blind
Though I may suffer
I'll envy it not
And endure what comes
Cause He's all that I got

and Tell him...
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
And it'll be alright

Now I may have faith
to make mountains fall
But if I lack love then I am nothin at all
I can give away everything I possess
But left without love
then I have no happiness
I know I'm imperfect
not without sin
But now that I'm older
all childish things end

And tell him...
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
And it'll be alright

I'll never be jealous
And I wont be too proud
Cause love is not boastful
Oooh and love is not loud
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
Everythings gonna be alright

Now I may have wisdom
and knowledge on earth
But if I speak wrong,
then what is it worth?
See what we now know
is nothing compared
To the love that was shown
when our lives were spared

And tell him...
Tell him I need him
Tell him I love him
And it'll be alright

-Lyrics from the song "Tell Him" from the album "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" by Lauryn Hill

-It is interesting that a lot of people not recognizing the scripture in the song (1 Corinthians 13:4-8), thought that she was talking about a flesh and blood man, but this is an "open letter" to God.

Long and short of it...

2008-12-22T06:02:00.000-08:00

Although, last week's temperatures were mild due to the rain, it has now dried up and the freezing temps and wind have set in. I completed my task of baking this year's Christmas pies and procuring my mother's gifts. I had volunteered to bake the pies here in my oven, since my mother is on a personal boycott of our local gas company and this turned into baking my tasty turkey wings and making Hop'n John. I have not yet packed any clothes, but will probably get that done and more cooking done today. There is some event after work today that everyone is asking me to attend, but I do not participate in these White Elephant ordeals. Let's just pull names and exchange gifts. I don't really need any spins on the whole gift exchange thing. I may show my face there for a few minutes because I have stuff to do.

As the week comes to a close........

2008-12-18T05:39:00.000-08:00

The week is almost over and the holidays are upon us. I am definitely in more upbeat spirits this year than I was last year. 2009 has to be better. It just has to be. I will be going home to SC for Christmas which also happens to be my mother's birthday. I have yet to get her gifts, but I have an idea of what I'm going to get. Class went well last night and I was one of two students who had actually completed and submitted their paper. There are 12 people in the class and the teacher was not going to budge on the fact that the assignment was still due that night. I was so glad that I completed that one and did not have to worry about going home and staying up to get an assignment done by midnight. He seems to be a pretty laid back character. I am the only person in the class who is only on their second course in the program. We chose learning teams and I feel much better about this one than I did my last team. They are more than 3 classes in and appear to be serious. I've prayed for that to work out in my favor. I don't think we will have any actual projects to do together for this class, though. Tonight, one of my co-workers from my former workplace is hosting a holiday wine tasting. That should be interesting. I still haven't figured out a dish to pair with my wine. I'll brainstorm something quick and easy by the end of the day or at least rely on google to help me figure something out.

The day of the Geechee is not over.........

2008-12-17T10:04:00.001-08:00

I have completed and submitted my paper that is due for today's class. This is my first class and I hope to make an A. I know that I can do this! I got a phone call from one of my former classmates today. We usually keep in touch to encourage each other. I am glad that he keeps the lines of communication open. He just told me that the University has transferred them to a "flex" schedule meaning that they will take their first and last classes at campus and the others online. I hope that they do not decide to do this for my campus. Even though I will have a computer, I prefer a classroom setting to keep me engaged. I had toyed with the idea with trying one or two classes online in the middle of my coursework. But I do want to have a choice. Last night some friends and I attended the wine tasting at Whole Foods and lo, they had a Muscato D'Asti. It was delicious. We did not taste any actual champagnes, but tasted their equivalents depending on where they are made. Italy, makes Prosecco and Asti. Asti is described as Spumante (very bubbly) or frizzante (slightly effervescent). America makes sparkling wines and the French make champagne named after the Champgne region of France. Interestingly enough, we tasted an 85% Pinot Noir and 15% Chardonnay sparkling wine from New Mexico. I didn't think think they made wines there, but they do have the climate conditions to do so. Warm days and cooler nights and there are places that have high altitudes that will allow the vines to run deep enough to bear decent fruit. I thought this one too dry (probably the Chardonnay), but a lot of others liked it. Also I noticed that there were 3 out of five that we tasted that had the yellow-gold labeling with black writing. At first, I thought "Isn't this supposed to be a value wine tasting?", but they are all wines that have bottles with the same look as Veuve Clicquot. (And after a couple of glasses at your holiday party who will know the difference anyway?) Anyhoo, I have been told that I am expected to make an appearance at the holiday luncheon at my old office in Buckhead. I have not specifically prepared a dish for this years holiday-themed luncheon. They want people to bring dishes from their ethnic background. One of my sweet potato pies that I have already baked should be fine. Since sweet potato pie is so foreign that no one makes them around these parts Apparently, it's all about the pumpkin pie here. I had never even had it until I moved to Florida. Although, South Carolina borders Georgia and my home is near the border, our cultures are completely different from each other. I suppose that difference lies within the Geechee/Gullah peoples who reside there and contribute to the overall culture of SC.

This just in......

2008-12-16T07:31:00.000-08:00

I have finally gone online to view my grades for my first MBA class and I received a B. I am satisfied considering the adversity of not having a personal computer. I have some things going on and may be able to procure a computer at least by my second class meeting in the class that begins tomorrow. I have processed an order for my second laptop notebook PC. It really should be my first since the first one that I bought is practically a fossil. I am eating my mid morning snack which is sliced avocado. I have discovered a line on sea salts at my local Dollar Tree and they have a Smoky BBQ flavored sea salt that tastes phenomenal. On the agenda tonight is another Free wine tasting. I believe the theme is "Sparkling Wines for Under $20". I have never been much of a champagne or sparkling wine drinker other than Moscato d'Asti or Braquetto d"Acqui. But we shall give it a try. In other news, I have just read in the sports news that Tampa Bucs player Greg White has legally re-named himself Stylez G. White because he liked the sidekick character, Stiles, in the 80's movie Teen Wolf. Are you kidding me? And the married (last time I checked, since he has been dating Trina when he was still married to his 2nd wife) Denver Nuggets basketball player Kenyon Martin has gotten lips tattooed on his neck in dedication to his girlfriend, rapper Trina. "It's something I wanted to get a while ago, but I didn't want to get it for just anybody" So, your first 2 wives and mothers of your children where, anybodies and Trina is somebody. Okay. There is no shame in being black, but it sure is confusing sometimes.

Easy like Monday morning....

2008-12-15T06:24:00.000-08:00

I have decided to actually start on the paper that I due for my first class at the new campus on today. The paper needs to be about a failed corporation. Oh,which one should I choose? I also, decided this on Saturday, but between errands and chores, it did not happen. I have posted a profile on www.linkedin.com. I haven't completed it yet, but I am about 55% done. Today is a slow one for me as will be this entire week. I have NO auctions running this week. So, I have requested that some of the work of my colleagues be farmed out to me as needed. Aren't I the team player!?

"Ning" Sites.....

2008-12-12T06:27:00.000-08:00

I am proud of myself this week, because I have had an entry for everyday this week. I have been getting invitations from former high school classmates to join our 'ning' site. To be perfectly honest I have no desire to do so, as all of the people that I even remotely care about I am already in contact with. I come from a pretty small town and I know that this will basically serve as a tool for them to be in folks business. I'm telling you, if you run into someone on the streets, if they don't ask you 50 questions in 1 minute, they haven't asked you one. And these are people whom, the less they know about me, the better. I had a pretty small circle of friends in school (we were in some circles called lame and nerds because we actually cared about grades and weren't functionally illiterate) and kept any drama surrounding me to a minimum and high school itself had enough drama and ten years later people in my town still care about it, unfortunately. I usually get the "you're too good for us now?" from folks. But these are usually people who were the bees knees when I was in school, who have fallen off whom I was never really friends with from the beginning. So screw 'em. I honestly cannot think of a single person from high school that I would like to have contact with that I don't already. As for the weekend, my plans are pretty much up in the air. I have a friend with a 30th birthday looming and he wants to hang out at Shout and Barley's this weekend. I might pass on Barley's, though. It's really not one of my faves.

Stormy Weather......

2008-12-11T10:25:00.000-08:00

Today has been pretty gloomy as it has been raining for the past 2 days. I am glad I live up the street and do not have to deal with rainy day traffic, which is so much worse than regular traffic (which is bad enough). Last night I went to the Scion Independent Film Series to watch the indie film Chop Shop. The film drew rave reviews from a friend of mine a few months ago, so I jumped at the opportunity to see it for free with free popcorn and drinks. I am not one of those people who has to have a happy ending, but the ending left me at loss because....the movie just ended. I also felt a little guilty that I left the theater as soon as the movie ended because the film's maker flew in from NY for a question and answer session afterward. They also gave away some swag goodie bags. But it was a work night and I needed to start working on next week's paper. I have received 2 records (The Chakachas and Sylvia Striplin) that I ordered from www.gemm.com and am thoroughly enjoying them and my new record player. I think I listen to it almost every night. I love that it keeps you engaged because you have to get up and change records or flip it over. The is no remote to skip a track. So either you get up off of your butt or you just let it play.

The Black Mozart: Le Chevalier de Saint-Georges

2008-12-10T06:36:00.000-08:00

Joseph de Bologne or Le Chevalier de Saint-Georges (known as Le Mozart Noir) was an Afro-French violinist and composer who was also France's best fencer and a noted equestrian. I came across a docu-film about his life by CBC called Le Mozart Noir in (you guessed it) the local library and decided it was worth a watch. The film had no dialogue only scenes acted out by actors over the music of Saint-George performed by the Tafelmusik Baroquee Orchestra. I then went on to find out more about him on lechevlaierdesaintgeorges.com and lechevalierdesaintgeorges. homestead.com. He was born in the French West Indies on the island of Guadeloupe to a wealthy French nobleman, George de Bologne and his slave, Nanon. Due to a fencing accident that left one man dead, his father fled the island and headed for France with his wife, Nanon and young Joseph in tow. In an effort to allow more opportunities for rising among the French upper class for Joseph, his father gave him fencing lesson and by age 15 he was the best fencer in France. After this, his father also gave him lessons in the violin, dance and art. Despite all of his father's efforts there were still setbacks due to Joseph's race. According to "Le Code Noir" (Law of Blacks) he would never be allowed to marry a white or black woman. To further challenge himself, he began to compose his own music and his complex compositions made him a star on the French and English music scene and even inspired his contemporaries such as Mozart. Marie Antoinette, much to the chagrin of her court, regularly requested his accompaniment when she would perform her private piano concerts. He was at one point up for the job of conducting at the Paris Opera (qwhich is like Hollywood) as he was the only person qualified, but 3 of France's leading divas, petitioned that their reputation would be ruined if they had to submit to direction of a mulatto. This deeply hurt Joseph because in the end, no one got job, because he had been the only qualified candidate. Although he is often painted as a playboy and was notbaly called "Le Don Juan Noir", it is documented that he had one great love, in the form of a French aristocrat's wife. There was reportedly a child born of their short-lived affair and her husband, suspecting that child was not his, told his servants to allow the child to die of neglect and starvation. He was also a hero of the French Revolution commanding a legion of Black volunteers who fought against slavery. After the revolution he was jailed and sentenced to death for his involvement with the upper class. I seriously doubt the the motivation for this was racial because even the king and queen had been beheaded and his dear friend who had helped him to become an anti-slavery reformist was eventually killed just for being associated with the ruling class. Eventually, after many petitions for his freedom, Joseph was freed. He continued to perform with smaller opera houses and even stayed for about 2 years in Haiti. It is said that the black vs black and mulatto vs black violence that he witnessed, broke his spirit in a way that racism in France could not. His celebrated musical compositions were banned from performance in the 1800's because of Napoleon's reinstatement of slavery and there has recently been renewed interest in his story. Only about 1/3 of his works have survived. He died destitute in France of a bladder infection in 1799.

I felt that this is an inspiring and compelling story of a man who defied odds with dignity and grace that is rarely told.

Artist Plug of the Day: Joy Denalane

2008-12-09T07:04:00.000-08:00

The first time I heard Joy Denalane was on Putamayo's Global Soul cd. Putamayo makes great compilations of global artists that most have never heard of (yes, soul artists come in Korean, Dutch and Chinese), arranged by music genre. I had listened to the entire cd which was excellent and when I heard the next to last track on the cd "Hochste Zeit", I had no idea what she was saying because the entire track was sung in German. Al i knew was that I was feeling it. I knew I had to find out more about this artist and came to find that she had released a pretty successful German album called "Maman." Joy Denalane is a German-born artist of South African/German heritage. Last year she released her first English language effort called Born and Raised. The album production is tight, poignant and insightful lyrics and guests such artists as Lupe Fiasco and Raekwon. Yet, no one I know has ever heard of her and it was months before you could buy the album here in the US. I don't know why she hasn't gotten much airplay as she is certainly attractive and that usually seems to at least get you in the door of the industry. Maybe it is for the reasons stated above and the song lyrics posted below.

It's only natural that things must change
Still I'm looking back all the same
To a time when the music we played
Came to life through the message conveyed
Now here's a matter of great concern
We're judging artists by the money they earn
It seems that for 9 out of 10
Music is just a means to an end, now tell me

[Chorus:]Why, why, why can't we do it for the love
I know you gotta make a living somehow, but
Why, why, why can't we do it for love
Ain't trying to be holier than thou

We're addicted to the things we crave
A ship full of slaves transported on the airwaves
Like everybody's caught in a bind
The man got us waiting in line
Wanna get signed you gotta follow directions
Still divided up according to a complexion
The chosen few don't even have to sing
You got the looks that can pull the strings
It's almost like nothing's taboo
Consciousness is just a marketing too
This music used to be our spiritual base
Now we just pick up the pace

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]There's enough in this world for everyone's needs
But there will never be enough for everyone's greed
Your career will be quick if you trying to get rich
Both will fall in the ditch

"For the Love" from the album "Born and Raised"
-Joy Denalane

2008-12-08T05:37:00.001-08:00

This weekend marked the end of my first session of class. I think I did okay. Just waiting for the final grades to be posted. I also re-joined the land of the social living as I went to a Foreign Exchange concert at Sugar Hill. I finally have a ballpark idea of exactly who Foreign Exchange consists of. Phonte from Little Brother (he's also a dope vocalist as well as rapper), Dutch producer Nicolay (he's dope), sometimes Darien Brockington (easily one of the most beautifully velvety voices and underrated R&B singers of our time) and sometimes neo-soul singer YahZarah. Kenny's Alley is so lucky that I had purchased my concert ticket in advance to avoid the exorbitant cost at the door. They are now charging $2 to get into Kenny's Alley, so that you can get into the places that you want to go. I haven't been there in a while and I think the last time I went was for another concert. I cannot support that. Hopefully, next time an artist that I really want to see will just go to Center Stage or the Loft. Because I believe that I am done I had the chance to see one of their opening acts, a local female MC/singer named Stacy Epps. She is a pretty good MC and I actually thought that she was Eve when I first heard her vocally. I had the chance to hear one of her tracks on a DJ Tabone (easily one of my favorite local DJ's) mix CD (shouts out to Ed for that one).

Hear, " Floatin' " by Stacy Epps at:

http://www.4shared.com/file/28409296/fd8c0ce1/Floatin.html

This week's Issues......

2008-12-05T06:00:00.000-08:00

This has been an interesting week in the news reporting everything from Obama's latest moves (he has to be the most storied president since, well.....none I've known in my lifetime) to Plaxico "Cheddar Bob" Burress (Is this guy for real?) shooting himself in the thigh with his own unlicensed gun. Have we learned nothing from the Michael Vick fiasco? The Giants may need to be done with him because they have been playing despite his and Strahan's absences. I am also struggling to complete my last paper for this class (I think the vacation ruined my mojo) but I will get through it. And the giant Jersey sub that I'm eating from Baldino's is going to help matters. :-) I went to a wine tasting with friends this week and it was supposed to be a year's top 10 tasting and we ended up "tasting 12 wines"! Some went into the spittoon of course because while I am not yet a connoisseur, I have somewhat a discriminating palette. There are folks who almost feel that it is a crime to dump any wine and will drink all of the samples. I think that Whole Foods aim is to get you tipsy enough to spend more money than you intended because they always advertise for less wines than they actually sample for some reason. I agree with another writer and believe that Capitol One credit card company is the official credit card of Satan and if I can ever be done with them, I will be truly happy. And The Man has finally gotten retribution for OJ's trangsressions as he will be in the pokey for no less that 15 years. Protect ya neck, OJ and don't drop the soap! I guess that's about it for my gripe session.

People Who Need to Go Sit Down Somewhere.....

2008-12-03T07:08:00.000-08:00

Have you ever encountered folks whether they are people you know personally or not that really need to fade into the abyss or as I like to say "Go sit down somewhere"? These are people who while you do not hate them, they irritate the hell out of you and you are even more irritated by the fact that you are unsure of their purpose in your life. So this brings me to my list of people who need to "Go Sit Down Somewhere"...... (in no particular order)

1) So-called "friends" who you are desperately trying to let fall by the wayside for good reason without being rude, continue to text-bomb or contact you.
2) Co-workers whom you wouldn't trust to babysit a pet cockroach who continue to smile in your face and try to gain unfettered access to your personal business
3) Former acquaintances who have casually added you to their e-mail forward list of 1,000 people or so, that you haven't talked to since Hector was a puppy. These are people who won't send a single e-mail to contact you personally......ever. They ought to be shot in the foot!
4) Men over the age of 30 (or any age for that matter) who still wear their pants sagging, have cornrows and leave the house with a Du-Rag on their head. It is not necessary to know what your underwear look like before I even know your name. And graying and thinning cornrows are never, ever attractive.
5) Tila Tequila, Kim Kardashian and all "reality" TV starlets- People actually report news on and follow these people around for photos! I never knew who this Tequila chick was until it was said that Myspace made her famous for being a bi-sexual Asian chick (she actually said that her show and fame was a driving force in getting gay marriage approved in California, is she kidding?). Myspace !
6) Beyonce- I am...Sasha Fierce. Huh? I mean, Janet Jackson should be smacked for starting this whole alter-ego, 2nd name crap (she was Strawberry, remember). If she weren't beautiful and over-exposed I doubt anyone would be buying into this charade. If any of us regular folks who lived in the real world spouted some mess like that off, we would be committed for multiple personality disorder or schizophrenia. And why does she insist now that everything she is doing will be "legendary" or "classic" when she is the ultimate swagger-jacker?
7) Kanye West- I remember when this guy first released an album thinking that he was genius, but now for the most part he just annoys me. It's always something with this guy. Fans actually now have to treat his persona and music as 2 different entities. His music is great...but his personality and ego sucks. And did I mention he actually said that he wants to be Elvis!
8)Telemarketers-I can't believe that there are people who sign up for these types of jobs selling cruises and whatnot. It makes you wonder how many people they actually speak to in a day.
9) T-Pain-This guy is what happened to the Ying Yang Twins and Lil Jon. Until he arrived on the scene, Jon and the Twins were responsible for all of the racy strip club anthems (having received the torch from Luke Skywalker) and odes to their favorite strippers. Is this guy ever OUT of the strip club? And can I stop meeting guys that try to invite me to the strip clubs? Male strippers are creepy (literally, they are a cut above clowns), so what do I want with female strippers?
10) People who think that you are a fool. These are people who think that they can pour water on your head and tell you it's raining outside. These people lie for no other reason than to try to make you look foolish and waste your time.

***This list has been condensed for time limitations or trust me, it could have been so much longer.

I'm Back!!!

2008-12-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

I needed a day to recover from my trip, although I did work yesterday. The trip was fabulous and I got to see some of my friends in Florida. Initially, I thought it would be too cold for the beach in South Florida, but it was beautiful and we spent 2 days on the beach. I did a small amount of black Friday shopping (I only hit 2 stores, because I was looking for something in particular) at the Galleria Mall in Ft. Lauderdale. I did okay. I am truly an analog girl in a digital world, because I have just gotten my first digital camera and MP3 player. Yes, me with my VHS tapes and cassette tapes that I cannot bear to part with. To hell with getting an ipod. I just need something portable to play my music on. It costed $10 and came with 50 free music downloads. I am still working on my laptop because I have no idea how to get what I need. But biggest score was my record player for $58 (apparently Big Lots had the great deals) that was regularly over $130. I was up well past my bedtime last night listening to Michael Jackson's Off the Wall and The Best of Al Green. I love this song. I hate that like so many artists, Ledisi does not get the recognition that she deserves.

This life can make me so confused, but it's alright
Living day by day I feel so used. That ain't right
I just wanna run and hide
But I don't have the time to cry and it's alright (it's alright)... it's alright... alright
Many thoughts are running through my head... it's alright
Wishing to be somewhere else but here and it's alright
I can't wait to see your face I need a smile and your embrace I'm alright (it's alright, it's alright)... I'm alright... yeah

Life can bring us through many changes it's alright(Never give up)
Just don't give up know that it's gonna be alright
People come and they go (they go)It's just the way that it goes
Everything is everything... It's alright!

Sometime the rain it makes me sad and it's alright
Some things in the world they make me mad and it's alright
In the morning when I see the sun
I know I'm not the only one and it's alright (it's alright), it's alright... (hey)
Wish I had some money to pay my bills
I can't even buy that dress on sale but it's alright
Having money don't mean a thing
Loving you is everything and I'm alright (it's alright), I'm alright yeah

Life can bring us through many changes it's alright(It's gonna be alright)
Just don't give up know that it's gonna be alright
People come and they go (they go)
It's just the way that it goes
Everything is everything... It's alright!

Everything is everything
It's gonna be alright

Ledisi "Alright"
(Available on the 'Meet the Browns' Soundtrack)

Case of the Mondays......

2008-11-24T06:43:00.001-08:00

Right now I need to drink about a fifth of NyQuil, only I have to work. I woke up on Saturday morning sick and it was even worse that I had to go to class that morning. After class, I stayed in all weekend and right I am operating at about 70%. I am only on pain relievers and herbal tea right now because "non-drowsy" meds space me out in which case I can't function anyways. I am still optimistic about my trip, though. It also sucks that it rained this morning, so I have to deal with the dampness outdoors. I have been pretty productive this morning thus far considering the fact that it's a Monday and I am sick. I still haven't figured out a styling concept for my hair for the weekend as it is really growing out. It is becoming increasingly hard to style since I haven't cut it since my Bog Chop back in May and the part near the nape in the back has grown out. I think i may try to find a new wig to wear in the meantime. I made a deal with myself that other than trims I was not doing anything drastic to my hair for at least a year, so my fro is a little out of shape in the back. I have also decided that I am never, ever using any chemicals on my hair again.

Nothing new....

2008-11-21T05:17:00.000-08:00

I am so glad that this week went by pretty fast. I am one day closer to my mini-holiday next week. I am really excited. I have full attendance to my mini dinner party at a swank Orlando restaurant and I get to see everyone that I really want to see. Our office had a Thanksgiving luncheon yesterday and I did really well to not completely blow my diet. I did indulge in the deep friend turkey. It's really the only way I like it. I could forgo the green bean casserole, chicken and dumplings, pumpkin pie and corn casserole. I did get a few Swedish meatballs These have never been staples of my traditional Thanksgiving feast being a black girl from SC. There was not a sweet potato pie or yam dish in sight. I was fortunate enough to get one of the few baked goods made from scratch (red velvet cake). it's the weekend and i really only have class to look forward to as I have made no plans and am anxiously awaiting next week.

Back in Stride Again....almost

2008-11-19T07:49:00.000-08:00

I was actually able to salvage some semblance of my social life yesterday evening as I attended a food and wine pairing. If I had $149 to blow on an Thanksgiving feast for 8 people I would because everything tasted great. They had a really good German Riesling that paired well with everything. Cop that bottle of St Urbans-Hof Riesling for $15 before the Wine Spectator's top 100 list comes out because it's #56 and those wines on that list rarely stay in stock. They didn't have any standout reds that I tasted. After that, I went back to my regularly scheduled life as an MBA student. Only 2 more classes and I will be done with this course. I am so looking forward to the Thanksgiving holidays. I will not have to cook and I am going somewhere with milder weather (it's 20 degrees at night around here!). I will be leaving next Wednesday for South Florida with a stop in Orlando (my last place of residence before Atlanta) to catch up with some friends. So, I'm pretty excited about that.

....And the drama begins anew

2008-11-17T12:16:00.001-08:00

I came in to work today and there was an e-mail from our company chairman and owner, stating that our business will be adversely affected if the proposed auto industry bailout does not take place. I am weary of all the bailouts, but as someone who is directly affected, selfishly I support this lesser of two evils option. So, now this may be a reason to worry about my job and the economy. I currently have a B+ in my MBA class right now, Hopefully, I can turn that into an A within the next couple of weeks. For some reason, once a year I get an influx of contact from old flames. My ex from college was the one who jump started all of this activity and after him, 3 others followed. What the hell do these people want? We are not really friends or anything and I don't ever contact them. And the worst part? 2 out of the 4 are MARRIED! Now, why are THEY calling me or harassing my friends about me?To be clear, it is not that I am opposed to being friends with exes. These people just always seem to have a different agenda about what the nature of our friendship is and what form our friendship should take on. I think you all get my drift. I swear to you, it's cyclical. Every fall. One actually called me at work this morning at work (after I told him to go fly a kite over a year ago) to invite me to his 30th birthday party. This man is married. I mean, doesn't he think that his birthday would be better spent with people who actually care about him? I'm just saying....

It's Been A While........

2008-11-11T12:06:00.001-08:00

.....but I am back. Back from a hellish week and more trying weekend. The good thing is that I still have my job and I was able to procure a new schedule for school that allows me to attend the campus around the corner from my house. Last Wednesday I went into work feeling pretty darn good about the events of the evening before and when I opened my office e-mail, there it was. An e-mail from our GM letting us know that they will lay off people and everything will be over by noon. I have never endured such a long morning in all of my life. I was sitting at my desk as HR came in an removed one co-worker after another until my supervisor let me know that my job was safe. They were done by 11:30am. People who had been with the company for over 23 years, gone. That day I also received disheartening family news that a loved one is incarcerated. One of my friend's job is moving them from Atlanta to NJ. My job told us on Thursday that me and my coworkers had to leave our office suite and relocate to another office. Fortunately, this one is 3 minutes from my place (yep, I counted). Also, I had a team project due for class this past week and it was like pulling teeth to get half of the team members to even show up for a conference call. The slackers of the team insisted on calling me all hours of the day and night about what they weren't doing. Always a story or excuse. I am glad that it was the only team project we had for this class, because I will be attending the next class at another campus. I pray that my learning team there will at least act as if they are paying for their MBA, because it was as if these folks knew something that I didn't know. Like, I was the only person paying for a degree and theirs was being given to them. I am over halfway through this class and am doing pretty well. I just need to get this one out of the way.

This day....

2008-11-05T05:30:00.000-08:00

If there is no other day that I should write, it is this day. Today, means that it is the end of an error......er, I mean era. It not only marks the end of a flawed (to say the least administration), but the end of a lot of other things. I was moved to tears when he accepted the Democratic party's nomination, so needless, to say I have been more than overwhelmed with emotion over the last few hours. I attended the very first rally here in Atlanta shortly after my relocation here. I heard him playing the song "Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now by McFadden and Whitehead, which is one of my father's favorite songs, and decided "I like this guy already!" I had friends who work in politics saying things like "he is just going to drag the Democratic party down!" and "Why is he running anyway?". They were all black like me and like "That one." There were black mayors of predominantly black cities who stated that they could not vote for him simply because he was black. They know full well that they are in office because people voted for them because they are black. Some view him as a bridge between the old and new civil rights movement, when it is accurate to say that none of them supported him in his candidacy when it mattered. Them, being older civil rights leaders. These men were the same age as he and even younger when they entered the civil rights movement, yet they deemed him unready for the presidency although qualified. These are men who did not want their time in the sun (and on camera) to end and had problems with actually passing the torch and having a dream realized. We all realize that racism is real and is still an issue to be dealt with, but these are people I am convinced that without racism they would have nothing to do with their time and no one to blame for any issues that they have. Now that OUR time has come, I realize that the success or failure of an entire nation rests solely on Obama's shoulders. He is the hopes and dreams realized of an entire people. A people who were only brought here to work to make this country great, not to lead it. While I was standing in line to vote, a man, undoubtedly a Republican, stated that he understands why this win was so important for me even though he was a McCain supporter. Also, we must understand what this means for black men. They can be anything they want to be, including president of the United States. They can be virtually fatherless and raised by a single grandparent, as many black children are and still become president. This is the end of excuses to not aspire to greatness. This shows that nothing of value ever comes easy. He was a man who was doubted by his own and when they told him him "No, now is not your moment", he seized it as if saying "If not now, when and if not me, who?". This is the end of the "product of my environment" stage of our lives. So, Jesse, this is what he was trying to tell our black men, although you felt that he was "talking down to black people." We have been receiving the kid-glove treatment about the way in which we handle our business for too long. And yes, I am 100% in agreement with Dr. Bill Cosby about us squandering the gains of the civil rights movement. If there was any time that we should feel that we can forge ahead to greatness, it is this day.

In the News.........

2008-11-03T08:39:00.000-08:00

After a nerve-racking week and weekend. I had class and my companies layoffs weighed heavily on my mind. I came into work this morning to find that my manager who has been with the company for almost 27 years will be retiring as of this Thursday. Shamefully, she is the only manager that I've ever had that I actually liked. So, I am employed for yet another day. After some questionable events Friday before we left work, most of my colleagues were more than a bit concerned about what this morning would hold. I actually had a dream Friday night that I had been fired.

On a lighter note, you will notice that I have posted a more recent pic of myself, taken by Gordon Parks...er...Ed. If you've had the opportunity to read previous posts, I noted the fact that I have cut my hair and have decided to grow out my hair naturally. The picture posted reflects my progress thus far. It's proud that it's coming along. I actually received a call from last week's hellish date that I politely ignored. Given his shortness and rudeness in response to the fact that I decided to end the date, I am actually surprised to have heard from him. I have to much on my plate with too little time to waste my time with folks. I wasted one evening and that is quite enough.

2008-10-30T08:21:00.001-07:00

I found out yesterday that my company had its first mass layoff since it's inception over 50 years ago. Yesterday, they laid off 200 IT employees at the corporate office in St. Louis. Virtually, no one at the Atlanta group headquarters where I work knew anything about. I received the news via e-mail from a co-worker who was searching an internet news site. I know that 200 employees is not considered a mass layoff for a company that employs 70,000 people worldwide, so, for some reason, I feel that this is just the tip of the iceberg. I already know that they are consolidating branches everywhere, but the deeper cuts will be in administrative offices because they are non-income producing.In other news (as you may have noticed I usually eschew political issues in favor of social issues on my blog), I participated in early voting yesterday and it only took me around an hour which is pretty good considering some of the stories I've heard of people standing in the blustery cold for 4 hours. It was just great to see people actively involved in a political process that may be the most important and historical of our lifetime. Everyone, Black and White, Jews and Gentiles, Democrats and Republicans engaged in light banter and friendly conversation. I really hope that this guy who is running for a court office wins because his wife was standing in the cold at 6:30 all alone holding a sign urging folks to vote for her husband who is a great guy running for a judicial office. Now, that's dedication to one's spouse.

As for my employment future, no one knows what the future may hold and I will have to pray for the best outcome.

My Big Problem with Small Black-Owned Businesses.........

2008-10-28T06:10:00.000-07:00

Why is it that when I patronize the businesses of my people I am 90% sure to get terrible or sub-par service? I had a discussion with someone this past week about this as we were at a small black-owned wine bar. My first experience at this place was less that stellar to say the least. The chef was rudely and inappropriately hitting on me (and he was no charmer, shouldn't he have been in the kitchen?), the service was slow and the server ill-trained. I know that this was not the server's fault, but the owners/managers of a "wine bar" should ensure that the staff actually knows something about wine. Even Olive Garden (which is part of the Darden restaurant casual dining food chain) trains their staff in the wines that they serve, so that they can make informed recommendations if needed. As I looked around with all of the beautiful black folks with glasses of Merlot on ice drinking from straws, I thought that instead of having bottomless glass Wednesdays or whatever, they should try having a small tasting or class actually educating people about wine. This is a place that is packed every time that I do go, so it is not like they are suffering for business. I understand that everyone is in business to be in business, but I also feel that they take us (and by us, I mean black patrons) for granted as much or even more than our counterparts. They capitalize on the fact that we are a pretentious people and that we are all about what something represents or its status than what it really is. And I think that this is the reason why when you see someone open a nightclub or lounge, so much more detail is placed on ambiance and what it looks like and making any area with seating VIP, instead of the quality of the service because they know that we are always starved for the next new thing for "us" to do. They know wait with bated breath for the next $30 dollar VIP line, $500 VIP booth, $20 valet parking and $500 bottles of champagne (because we all want everyone to know how very important we all are). My friend felt that I was being hyper-critical and gave me the"well it's just good to see someone black at LEAST opened a place like this" spiel, but we actually need to be more critical of ourselves and stop doing the very LEAST that we can do by opening the doors of a new establishment and just marketing to black people. I am not a business owner but I do understand that there are challenges, but if I am spending my hard-earned dollars, I want it to be justified by more than the fact that I am at least supporting black businesses. I want the fact of the matter to be that I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. You can trust and believe that if Concentrics, Buckhead Life or any of THOSE other restaurant groups are opening a restaurant that they are not going to have barmaids/men who do not know how to open a wine bottle or the fact that there are 4 proper pours of wine to a bottle.

........And so it begins.......

2008-10-27T12:09:00.001-07:00

This weekend was an eventfully uneventful weekend. I had my first MBA class the first thing Saturday morning and it went okay, but I had to stay and extra hour on top of the 4 hours I spent in class to turn in an assignment. My professor seems pretty laid back. I was also happy to see on the syllabus that we didn't have any group assignments during this class. Later on the evening, I had a date that I wanted to end after about 40 minutes. After having a certain amount of conversation and some embarrassing moments on the restaurant, I was done. I liked the fact that he decided on a place to go on his own. Other than that, it was all downhill from there. It was like he didn't want the date to end. I am not sure if he was anxious to keep me entertained, but we really could've ended it after uncomfortable conversation over sushi at a restaurant in Buckhead. After sushi, we visited Ray's on the River and listened to jazz which is a very nice place and I would like to return there with better company. After Ray's on the river we drove across town to Vino Libro, listened to more music and talked more. It was like the night couldn't end or he was trying to cram 5 dates into one. I was growing weary of his boring conversation and his choice of music on his car radio (too loud to hold a conversation over with too much profanity that didn't really put me in a dating mood). But who am I to tell a black man what to play on his radio. I was definitely ready to go home after Ray's. After Vino, he pulls into a driveway and I asked where we were and he replied "his house". Your house!? This is something after a few bad experiences that have a personal rule about. I never visit a man's house on a "date" on the first or second date. I had had it. Shortly after that, I was over not trying to be rude and abrupt and told him that he could take me home. We have nothing in common and he is a great deal older than me (I hadn't even been born when he graduated from college) which is fine. But he is the most disturbing kind of older gentlemen. The kind who doesn't know when to grow up. The kind who thinks he's still a playboy. As a music lover, I usually people about what their favorites or favorite new artists are (his favorites are Dream and Rihanna). He actually asked me what I thought about Lil Wayne? Lil Wayne? When he used the expression, "I make it rain" to our Japanese host at the restaurant, I wanted to crawl under the table. During our date, he was telling a story and when he referred to a former professor he had in college who was a nun as bitch, it caused the side of my right eye to twitch. He's old enough to know better, but maybe he listens to too much Lil' Wayne.

I could definitely do with NEVER hearing from this guy again.